Dont jokes

Mother: How is my little cookie doing?

Doctor: Your cookie is feeling crummy right now.

Mother: Really?

Doctor: But don’t worry. Things are about to get batter.

Mother: 😁♥️🍪

I don't really understand 9/11 jokes, but they eventually hit me like a plane.

When the phone is ringing, Dad says, "If it's for me, don't answer it."

Why don’t mountains take things seriously?

Because they’re hill areas.

What's the difference between a Corvette and a pile of dead babies?

I don't have a Corvette in my garage.

What's the difference between a sports car and a pile of dead babies?

I don't have a sports car in my garage.

What's the difference between an apple tree and an orphan? The apples get picked.

When do you go at stop and stop when done?

I don't know, I'm not a pedophile.

My mom: "Dear, I don't know why your grandma is spending more time with her friend Carla, can you spy on her?"

Me: "Your mom gay lol."

My mom: "Don't talk about your grandma like that, you rude girl."

You: "Your mom gay lol."

Hey, I haven't been on for like 2 months. I don't know who is still on here or like if everyone left, but yuh, I just decided to come back. Hey.

Don't let mistakes drag you down. My dad made one mistake, but it ended up fulfilling the 5-year plan of heat energy generation in less than a millisecond.

When his dick is really, really small, but you pretend it is so big it hurts so you don’t make him feel bad 'cause he is a nice guy.

Don’t have sex. Because you will get pregnant. 𝓐𝓷𝓭 𝓭𝓲𝓮.

Ok, everyone on this website... I HAVE NO BROTHERS OR SISTERS. The person who claims he's my "brother" is firesharky. He is trying to get fame. Never listen to him. He will lie and trick you to think I have a brother, but I don't.

Brother: Your eyebrows look hella bad.

Sister: I don’t even think you know what eyebrows are supposed to look like because you have none.

Why don't Asian kids believe in Santa Claus?

Because they're the ones who made the toys.

Why can't orphans play poker?

Because they don't know what a full house is.

If a person kills their counselor, does that mean that they don't need therapy anymore?

My name is Shelly Bobby... I don't know my last name.

Hi, what's your name?

I don't know, I'm disabled.