Dont jokes

What do computers and white kids have in common? They don't have trouble shooting.

What's worse than depression & suicide?

Easy: LIVING. Everyday you wish you were dead but then reality hits you in the face that you're still alive and have to suffer living.

Pretend or not pretend, we have to decide everyday even if we don't pretend no one will notice :) no one ever does :). Living is the problem to everything. We get depression cuz of it and so much. Why can't we just die :)?

Why do sumo wrestlers shave their legs?

Because they don't want to be mistaken as feminists.

Bully: Hey virgin!

Victim: I'm not a virgin, just ask your sister.

Bully: I don't have a sister, dumbass.

Victim: Just wait nine months.

I know you don’t like rape jokes, but I’m gonna force one on you anyway.

Michael Jackson was working on a cover of a popular Elton John song when he died...

His version was to be called "Don't Let Your Son Go Down on Me"...

When your friend asks why you don't smile, then you look at them and realize no one is there because you have no friends. #my life

Why are mountains always tired? Because they don't Everest.

The moment when she tells you: "I'm a virgin. Be gentle!" And you tell her, "Don't worry, I used to work with kids."

One day, a snail got robbed by two turtles. Once the cops arrived and asked what had happened, the snail said, "I don't know, it all happened too fast!"

So this guy is talking to his buddy about his flying lessons. "My first time in the air, my instructor informed me that he was an 8th degree black belt and homosexual, and if I don't succumb to his sexual advances I would have to jump out of the plane," and his buddy says, "Well, did you jump?" The guy says, "Yeah, a little at first."

How many Germans does it take to change a light bulb? -- One. They are efficient and don't have humor.

Why can't orphans play baseball? They don't know where home is.

How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?

Trick question, feminists don't change anything.

I walked in on my dad fucking my little brother. I don't know what was worse: the fact that he was fucking my brother, or the fact that the abortion clinic let my parents take the fetus home....

When I see the names of lovers engraved on a tree, I don't find it cute or romantic. I find it weird how many people take knives with them on dates.

Don't pick flat chests because they will turn their backs on you twice.

So my dad said to me and my sister, "Don't fight," but did he mean "fist fight" or "yelling fight?"

Coronavirus walks into a bar and tells the bartender, "Gimme a shot of whiskey, will ya?"

The bartender says, "Sorry. We don't serve viruses here."

Corona replies, "Well, you're not a very good host."

A bartender says, “We don’t serve time travelers in here!”

A time traveler walks into a bar.