Dont jokes

I swear bro, this time I don't want any jokes on 9/11. Like people actually died, like that shit is just plane wrong. 💀

What happens when you fail to be an emo? You don't make the cut.

I don't usually make 9/11 jokes. They always go down in flames.

"Nining leven BITCH. I don't know how to spell, but it's that shit where the planes flew into them towers."

I was the person that flew into the Twin Towers. I have two friends that are both twins, and whenever they speak, I tell them to shut up because if they don't, I'll make myself explode in them.

This is not a joke, Tom. I'm asking you to leave me alone, stop being sexual, I don't like you.

I don’t trust anyone who doesn’t feel like screaming.

Doctor: I have bad news.

Man: What?

Doctor: There are two things wrong with you. First, you have cancer.

Man: Oh, no...

Doctor: Second, you have Alzheimer's.

Man: Well, at least I don't have cancer!

Me: I saw an emo kid that got a haircut today. But instead of saying “Like ya cut g” and slapping the neck, I slapped the wrist and said “Like ya cut’s g.”

Emo kid: He said like your bullet holes, G.

Me: I have no bullet holes.

Emo kid: Not yet, you don't.

Me: Ayo what the fuc*.

Kid: Hey, why am I an orphan?

Adult: I don't know, ask your parents.

I don't trust trees...they look shady.

I don't like stairs. They're always up to something.

Orphan: I love abcdefu!

Caretaker: Why? You don't have anyone to flip off.

When Bob got on that sled, I don't know how he went so smoothly, but that is the invention of bobsled peoples.

And then Mark came in.

Why can't orphans ever get a car? Because they don't have a birth certificate.

Have a child you don't want? Just drop them off at a school they don't know and drive away.

Dark humor is like pussy: whining bitches don't get it.

Why can't orphans be gay? They don't know their daddy.

Why are there only 363 days in an orphan's calendar?

They don’t have fathers or Mother’s Day.

Kid on Xbox: I'm not a virgin. Ask your sister.

Bully on Xbox: I don't have a sister, dumbass.

Kid on Xbox: You will in 9 months.