Dont jokes
Why can't orphans be gay? They don't know their daddy.
What's the difference between a sex slave and a goat?
I don't have a sex slave in my basement...
When Bob got on that sled, I don't know how he went so smoothly, but that is the invention of bobsled peoples.
And then Mark came in.
I don't joke about 9/11 because I lost my dad. He was the best pilot I ever knew.
A friend sits across from me at class so I asked if she wants to hang out sometimes. She said yes, so I called her over to my house, and that's the day I found out she was a guy.
The moral of the story: don't try to fuck your friends.
Why do orphans start fights?
Because they don't get in trouble at home.
Why did Dad Man quit acting?
I don’t know either.
Doctor: I have bad news.
Man: What?
Doctor: There are two things wrong with you. First, you have cancer.
Man: Oh, no...
Doctor: Second, you have Alzheimer's.
Man: Well, at least I don't have cancer!
Why are orphans not on this?
They don’t want to listen to the dumbos on here!
What's the one school event that orphans don't go to?
Parents' evening.
This ole boy picked up this hooker and was getting some head driving down the road, and she started gagging on it a little, and he said, "Oh yeah baby, you like that big dick, don't ya?" and she said, "Oh baby, it's not that, ya asshole stinks!"
Brits don't exist. Mummies can't have kids.
How do pirates like their movies?
You already know the answer, don't you?
Well...
ARRR rated! Huh huh huh...
Knock knock. Who is there?
I don't know.
Thing 1: What's the difference between nuts and almonds?
Thing 2: I don't know, what?
Thing 1: One gets hard faster.
I don't care if I got beat the first day you were born. Your momma asked for a receipt!
You're so fat, you don't need internet because you're already worldwide.
Why are there only 363 days in an orphan's calendar?
They don’t have fathers or Mother’s Day.
Me: I saw an emo kid that got a haircut today. But instead of saying “Like ya cut g” and slapping the neck, I slapped the wrist and said “Like ya cut’s g.”
Emo kid: He said like your bullet holes, G.
Me: I have no bullet holes.
Emo kid: Not yet, you don't.
Me: Ayo what the fuc*.
Your face needs to be put in the trash so people don't need to suffer.