Doesnt jokes

Me: *gives her 5 dollars* Climb that flag pole. Cute female: *takes the money and goes up the flag pole* Is this good? Me: Hell yeah, that's a nice view.

*Next day* Here's 10 dollars if you do it again. *She goes up there* Me: How's the view? *She goes home and her mom sees the money* Her mom: Where you getting this money? Her daughter: I climbed a flagpole. Her mom: You know he just wants you to see your panties, right? *She goes back and does it again but doesn't wear panties* Me: Holy shit ;-; Her mom: Did you do it again? Her daughter: Don't worry, Mom, he didn't get to see my panties. Her mom:...

Three doctors go into a room to get rid of a dead guy's body. They notice when they walk over that he has a boner. The first doctor decides, "Why not fuck him? He still has a boner left in him." The second says, "Well, he's dead, and I am a virgin." The third one says, "I can't, I'm on my period," and then says, "Okay, why not? He's already dead. It's not like he doesn't smell bad." After all that, they go to walk out, and the guy pops up and says, "Thanks for saving my life, pumping blood back into my body..."

Chuck Norris doesn't get sun burns. The sun knows better.

I got hit with a can of soda.

It doesn't matter, it was a soft drink.

Why doesn't the witch wear panties?

To get a better grip on her broom stick!

I saw a sign that said, "Falling Rocks." I tried it, and it doesn't.

Jesus Christ does exist, he does, and he is the son of God... a God that doesn't exist XD

What's the difference between a five-year-old and a Democrat?

The five-year-old doesn't expect you to do everything for them.

(Vote for Ted Cruz, Ben Shapiro 2020)

So I heard Kenny's mom got moved to a nursing home.

He'll probably leave her alone now.

He doesn't eat vegetables.

I was sitting in math class, and our teacher doesn't like it if we don't work on math in his class. So, I did science homework on top of a math book.

At night in the Nunnery, one Nun says to the other Nun, "Where's the candle?" The other Nun says, "Doesn't it!"

Max Heart and his gay cousin Nickals Amoto say I back out of a fight. When he said let's fight, then last minute he said he doesn't want to, then says I chickened out. I [was] ready to fight, but his gut [was] swollen [and] his arms [were]. He actually looks like Humpty Dumpty, but [I] just wanted to say he backed out + Max and Nickals are both gay with each other.

The second twin tower is like Canada. It doesn’t exist.

Q: Why did the flat earther become gay?

A: He knows a thing or two about giving dome.

Q: Why did he eventually become asexual?

A: He doesn't believe in anything south of the border.

My new leaf blower doesn't work. It sucks.

Q: Why can't skeletons go to the dance?

A: He doesn't have the guts for it.

Friend: My bike doesn't have a kick stand, so it can't stand up.

Me: Nah, it's just two tired.

What is the one feature an orphan kid's phone doesn't have that mine does?

A home button.

There was this intern that worked at an orphanage, and she burnt it down. Luckily, she doesn't have to tell her parents.

My friend says to me: "What rhymes with orange?" I said: "No it doesn't."