Doesnt jokes
Q: Why did the flat earther become gay?
A: He knows a thing or two about giving dome.
Q: Why did he eventually become asexual?
A: He doesn't believe in anything south of the border.
My new leaf blower doesn't work. It sucks.
Q: Why can't skeletons go to the dance?
A: He doesn't have the guts for it.
Friend: My bike doesn't have a kick stand, so it can't stand up.
Me: Nah, it's just two tired.
What is the one feature an orphan kid's phone doesn't have that mine does?
A home button.
There was this intern that worked at an orphanage, and she burnt it down. Luckily, she doesn't have to tell her parents.
My friend says to me: "What rhymes with orange?" I said: "No it doesn't."
If you are on here, don’t hate. There will be rude ones, but it doesn’t matter.
People say dogs are like their owners. So true. My dog keeps on running into the street as if she doesn't care about her life.
I don't care about her life either hahahaha!! :)
Why isn't a koala a bear? It doesn't have the koalafications.
A Down syndrome kid asks for an ice cream. The man asks, "Do you want sauce on it?"
The kid says, "It doesn’t matter, I’m going to drop it anyway!" 😂😂😂
My boyfriend recently asked me to suck his cock. I was kinda nervous because I’ve never tasted a dick, but he said it doesn’t taste that bad, so I’ll give it a shot.
It doesn’t make much sense why autistic kids run down the hall screaming racecar noises.
I mean, they aren’t in wheelchairs, so I don’t know why they do it.
What is similar between sex and fishing?
It doesn't matter how deep you go, it matters how you wiggle the worm.
A baby skunk's mother gets hit by a car, so the baby skunk doesn't know what he is.
So the baby skunk walks up to a baby bunny and asks, "What are you?" The baby bunny replies, "Well, I'm a baby bunny. What are you?" The baby skunk says, "Well, I don't know, am I a baby bunny too?"
The baby bunny says, "No, you're not a baby bunny." So the baby skunk asks, "Well, what am I then?"
The baby bunny replies, "Well, you're not exactly blank and you're not exactly white, so you must be Mexican."
A guy sits at a bar in a skyscraper restaurant high above the city. He slams a shot of tequila, goes over to the window and jumps out.
The guy sitting next to him can’t believe what he just saw. He’s more surprised when, 10 minutes later, the same guy walks back into the bar and sits down next to him.
The astonished onlooker asks, “How did you do that? I just saw you jump out the window, and we’re hundreds of feet above the ground!”
The jumper responds by slurring, “Well, I don’t get it either. I slam a shot of tequila, and when I jump out the window, the tequila makes me slow down right before I hit the ground. Watch.” He takes a shot, goes to the window and jumps out.
The other guy runs to the window and watches as the guy falls to just above the sidewalk, slows down and lands softly on his feet. A few minutes later, the jumper walks back into the bar.
The other guy has to try it, too, so he orders a shot of tequila. He slams it and jumps out the window. As he reaches the bottom, he doesn’t slow down at all. SPLAT!
The first guy orders another shot of tequila. The bartender shakes his head. “You’re really an a**hole when you’re drunk, Superman.”
Why does Waldo wear stripes?
He doesn't want to be spotted.
What is the difference between a washing machine and a child?
The washing machine doesn't cry when you put a load in it.
What's the difference between a mother and a pigeon?
One doesn't eat their husband out.
Q: What’s the difference between a sleeping lady and an onion?
A: One doesn’t scream when you try to chop it up.