DOE jokes
Where does a cow take his date?
Answer: To the moooooovies!
Your mama is so short, she does backflips under her bed.
Teacher: What does a pig give you?
Little Johnny: Bacon.
Teacher: Good, what does the sheep give you?
Little Johnny: Wool.
Teacher: What does the fat cow give you?
Little Johnny: Homework and says "leave motherf*cker".
What does an orphan call a kidnapping?
A surprise adoption.
What does Mrs. Grapes 🍇 love the most?
Raisin' kids.
What does an apple and a lawyer have in common?
They both look good hanging from a tree.
Why does Michael Jackson like to play golf?
He likes to hit small white balls.
Joe mama's so fat, her belly button gets home an hour before she does.
Q: What does your Mama and a slinky have in common?
A: They aren't much to look at, but you can't help cracking a smile when you see it tumbling down the stairs.
Why [does] a tranny say "Have a good day" to a Jew?
He [is a] goy.
What does a butt do when it is angry?
Butt crack!
So I was sitting on the couch with a woman, and I asked her, "Does this napkin smell like chloroform?"
What does a deaf person do when they hear people scream? I don't know; it's not like they're gonna hear it anyway.
What do you call a pig that does karate?
A pork chop!
How many police officers does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. They just beat the room for being black.
What does one orphan say to another orphan on Opposite Day? "Do you want to go home?"
Why does the nucleus feel trapped?
Because it’s inside a cell!
I was in cooking class and my teacher said, "Does anyone know what a chopping board is similar to?"
Me and my friend just glanced at each other and burst out laughing.
Long story short, the teacher understood the joke, and now we are both in daily therapy. 😭💀
How many victims does Shaw have?
We don’t know yet. It’s four years and counting.
Why does Stephen Hawking do one liners?
Because he can't do standup.