DOE jokes
Why does the orphan commit suicide to join the other side to see their parents?
How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, because they beat the room for being dark, then arrest the room for being broke.
Why does Michael Jackson avoid Pepsi? They gave him a hot one.
What pronouns does Michael Jackson use? Hee/hee.
Why does family love family?
Because everyone has their Friday night nut together.
What does a sex offender and Santa have in common?
They will come down your "chimney" tonight.
What do a 9V battery and a butthole have in common?
We know we’re not supposed to put our tongue on them, but we do it anyway.
Why does Santa Claus have such a big sack?
Because he only comes once a year.
If you get a divorce with your husband, does that still mean you’re siblings?
Where does a pianist go on vacation?
The Florida Keys.
What does the bee say to the fly?
"Buzz off!"
How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb?
It only takes one, but it takes a long time, and the light bulb has to want to change.
What does an orphan wish they could do?
Wish happy Mother's Day and Father's Day.
What does a person eat before a race?
Answer: They fast.
If an orphan wants food, who does it? No one. Everybody just watches him starve because they couldn't find his parents.
When does a joke become a dad joke?
When it leaves and never comes back...
Me: How does this thing work?
ForTnite kid: Oh, you don’t know how to use a pistol? Look, I’ll show you.
ForTnitekid: *shoots foot*
Me: That wasn’t a very good demonstration.
I come in from work to see my wife dead on the sofa. As I unzip for one last ride, she says, "BOO!" What kind of a dick fuck does that!
You're so ugly that when you were born, your mother asked, "How does my little treasure look?", and the doctor replied, "I think we should bury it immediately."
How many Emos does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None. They all just sit in the dark and cry.