DOE jokes
Life sucks, and so does the vacuum, and other things.
Why does Santa have such a big sack? He only comes once a year.
What does lmao launching missiles at orphanage mean?
I don't know, but it's messed up.
W-what does, I mean uh, what is, um-, wh-what’s the difference, no... I mean- I mean what do you call a, um... sorry guys, i-i can’t do this. 😥🥺
*runs away in tears*
Why does a cheetah cheat to always win?
Sister: Why does shampoo have directions?
Me: 'Cause God made you.
How many brewers does it take to change a light bulb?
About one third less than for a regular bulb.
Little Johnny was walking down an alley and saw a lamp. After he rubbed it, a genie came out and said, "You have 10 seconds to have one wish." Little Johnny says he wants to pee alcohol. The genie grants his wish. He tells his family, and his sister doesn't believe it. After having a drink, she says, "We should have this every night!" Little Johnny gets two cups every night, one for him and his sister. He does the same thing for four nights. Eventually, he ran out of cups and has one left. He gives it to himself, and his sister asks, "Where's my cup?" Little Johnny replied, "You're drinking out of the bottle tonight."
What does a Chinese guy say to his lover? “You’re the ying to my yang!”
Why does Saturn have a ring?
Because God liked it, so he put a ring on it.
Why does Batman only wear black?
Because he's emo!
What does NASA stand for? Nobody Asked, Someone Answered.
Come on guys, it's not nice to make fun of autism. I mean really, the Riot devs try their best, but just because they have autism does not mean you can make fun of them. Make fun of them for something else, like their Down syndrome.
Does anyone know how to add pictures? Like, I need to know.
What does a blowjob and a bonus check have in common?
Someone’s always willing to blow your bonus.
How many gays does it take to put in a light bulb?
Only one... but it takes the entire Emergency Room to get it out.
Roses are not always red, Violets are violet, not blue. Irises are never red, Petunias can be kinda blue.
What does this tell us 'cept you can't trust a poet to tell the truth.
What is a dog that does not walk? A magic dog.
What does a cow say? Moo.
What does a kid and wine have in common?
Shit, I forgot, but they're both locked in my cellar right now.