DOE jokes
So, I was getting on a plane, and the pilot does his usual speech talking about altitude and what not with the microphone, and he forgets to turn it off, so after the speech I heard him and the co-pilot talking about what they were doing after work, and whatnot.
Then the pilot said he was dying for a blowjob and a coffee, so a stewardess ran to the pilots cabin, and then left about 15 minutes later, and the pilot shouted "Next time don't forget the coffee!"
Why does Adam sleep early so his mum and stepdad can fuck on his bed?
If a person walks off a hundred-foot cliff and halfway down screams, "Why did I do that?" Then a second person walks off the same one-hundred-foot cliff and screams the same verse, "Why did I do that?" Then another person walks off the cliff and screams the same line, "Why did I do that," and the next person does the same thing. What do you call that?
(Stupid People)
What is it called if your mom does not make it to your birth?...
An abortion.
What do Shrek and onions have in common?
*LAYERS*
Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle?
His wife died.
What does Trump stand for?
Trump Runs Underneath My Penis.
Why does Technoblade make orphan jokes?
'Cuz he's the Father!!!
Russian Santa Claus- You better watch out, You better not cry, cause if you do I will stab your fucking eye, Russian Santa Claus does not fuck around. He's making a list, He's checking it twice... You better leave out some Vodka with ice!
Hi guys, I'm going to be out for 3 days. Also, quote for the day and advice.
Quote. (Made by me) Don't look back at tomorrow; just look forward today. There are new thoughts, strength, and ideas.
Advice. Sometimes ppl have opinions, and those opinions are probably what you don't like, but don't bring negativity on them just because of what they're saying. If you chose, you probably say, "I don't understand that statement, but it does sound good." This is not a drama site; it's a joking site.
P.S. No hating in these comments.
If an orange is orange, does that mean it's orange?
How many blacks does it take to start a riot?
-1.
Little Johnny fucked a girl, ran away, fucked another, ran, went to the strip club, got a private dance, he has sex with them, fucking ran, yelled to some random bitch ass guy, "Fuck him, he's a bitch." He bends down, they have sex on the street, they go home, have sex, little Johnny wakes up, questions himself, fucking does it again. He goes to the strip club, fucks some more people, when he is drunk, questions himself some more, then tries phone sex, but his dick is too small.
How many feminists does it take to fix a lightbulb?
None. Feminists can't change anything.
Q: How many ADHD kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Wanna go ride a bike?
What do you call a guy in a wheelchair that does comedy?
Sit down comedy.
What noise does Stephen Hawking make when he dies? Windows shutting down theme tune.
What does a hear-moo say? "Fat cow!"
How does a rapper stay cool?
He drops some ICE in his rhymes.
Why does the orphan not buy milk?
That's what their parents are doing.