DOE jokes

Why does an orphan only have 363 days in a year?

Because they don’t have mothers and Father’s Day!

Where in the nursery rhyme does it say Humpty Dumpty was an egg?

What does a depressed kid who loves geometry use to kill themself?

A hypoteNUSE!

So my dad tells these jokes and someone posted one on this website so...

How many Polish people does it take to change a light bulb? 101, one to hold the light bulb and 100 to spin the house.

There’s also one about a bowling ball in a bath tub he hasn’t told me that though. I'll research that.

How many babies does it take to paint a wall?

It depends on how hard you throw them.

Why does the orphan commit suicide to join the other side to see their parents?

How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, because they beat the room for being dark, then arrest the room for being broke.

What does the blind man say when he walks past the fish market?

"Hello, ladies!"

What does a sex offender and Santa have in common?

They will come down your "chimney" tonight.

Why does Michael Jackson avoid Pepsi? They gave him a hot one.

What pronouns does Michael Jackson use? Hee/hee.

What do bungee jumping and a gay man have in common?

If the rubber breaks, they're in beep shit.

What do a 9V battery and a butthole have in common?

We know we’re not supposed to put our tongue on them, but we do it anyway.

What does an armed bank robbery and Michael Jackson have in common?

Someone gets hurt.

How many Emos does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. They all just sit in the dark and cry.

Mom: Hey son, what does "idk" and "idc" mean?

Son: I don’t know and I don’t care.

Mom: Excuse me?

Son: Oh, and by the way, Mom, what’s for dinner?

I don’t know and I don’t care.

What does LMAO stand for?

Launching Moms At Orphans.

You're so ugly that when you were born, your mother asked, "How does my little treasure look?", and the doctor replied, "I think we should bury it immediately."

What does Fortnite and real life have in common?

They both lost their tower.

What does a cannibal call a pregnant woman?

A kinder surprise.