DOE jokes
Why does an orphan never learn how to drive? Because he has no dad to help him.
What does my dad and the Twin Towers have in common? They used to be with us, now it's just a sensitive topic.
What does Santa say for the toys to go to bed?
"Time to hit the sack!"
I come in from work to see my wife dead on the sofa. As I unzip for one last ride, she says, "BOO!" What kind of a dick fuck does that!
If an orphan wants food, who does it? No one. Everybody just watches him starve because they couldn't find his parents.
Memes
When does a joke become a dad joke?
When it leaves and never comes back...
Why does the basketball never get a date?
Because they dribble.
Does an orphanage have daddy issues?
Yes, because he didn't come back from getting the milk.
Me: How does this thing work?
ForTnite kid: Oh, you don’t know how to use a pistol? Look, I’ll show you.
ForTnitekid: *shoots foot*
Me: That wasn’t a very good demonstration.
Man A: "Is Google male or female?"
Man B: "Female, because it does not let you finish the sentence before making a suggestion."
How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb?
It only takes one, but it takes a long time, and the light bulb has to want to change.
What does an orphan wish they could do?
Wish happy Mother's Day and Father's Day.
What does LMAO stand for?
Launching Moms At Orphans.
Where does a pianist go on vacation?
The Florida Keys.
Why does Santa Claus have such a big sack?
Because he only comes once a year.
If you get a divorce with your husband, does that still mean you’re siblings?
What does the bee say to the fly?
"Buzz off!"
What do bungee jumping and a gay man have in common?
If the rubber breaks, they're in beep shit.
What does an armed bank robbery and Michael Jackson have in common?
Someone gets hurt.
What do a 9V battery and a butthole have in common?
We know we’re not supposed to put our tongue on them, but we do it anyway.