DOE jokes
Why does Michael Jackson avoid Pepsi? They gave him a hot one.
What does an orphan wish they could do?
Wish happy Mother's Day and Father's Day.
What does LMAO stand for?
Launching Moms At Orphans.
Mom: Hey son, what does "idk" and "idc" mean?
Son: I don’t know and I don’t care.
Mom: Excuse me?
Son: Oh, and by the way, Mom, what’s for dinner?
I don’t know and I don’t care.
How many Emos does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None. They all just sit in the dark and cry.
Memes
You're so ugly that when you were born, your mother asked, "How does my little treasure look?", and the doctor replied, "I think we should bury it immediately."
What does Santa say for the toys to go to bed?
"Time to hit the sack!"
I come in from work to see my wife dead on the sofa. As I unzip for one last ride, she says, "BOO!" What kind of a dick fuck does that!
Me: How does this thing work?
ForTnite kid: Oh, you don’t know how to use a pistol? Look, I’ll show you.
ForTnitekid: *shoots foot*
Me: That wasn’t a very good demonstration.
Does an orphanage have daddy issues?
Yes, because he didn't come back from getting the milk.
When does a joke become a dad joke?
When it leaves and never comes back...
How many altar boys does it take to screw in a light bulb? Depends on how dark the priests' basement is.
Why does an orphan's calendar only have 362 days? Because they don't celebrate Father's Day, Mother's Day, and Valentine's Day.
What does a male Asian P*rnstar like to say?
"I love eating cat."
What does Fortnite and real life have in common?
They both lost their tower.
What does a cannibal call a pregnant woman?
A kinder surprise.
What does an armed bank robbery and Michael Jackson have in common?
Someone gets hurt.
If an orphan wants food, who does it? No one. Everybody just watches him starve because they couldn't find his parents.
What does a person eat before a race?
Answer: They fast.
What does a Trump supporter use to load his/her AR-15?
A MAGAzine.