DOE jokes

Santa

What does Santa say for the toys to go to bed?

"Time to hit the sack!"

Necrophilia

I come in from work to see my wife dead on the sofa. As I unzip for one last ride, she says, "BOO!" What kind of a dick fuck does that!

Orphan

If an orphan wants food, who does it? No one. Everybody just watches him starve because they couldn't find his parents.

Family

When does a joke become a dad joke?

When it leaves and never comes back...

Memes

Orphanage

Does an orphanage have daddy issues?

Yes, because he didn't come back from getting the milk.

Pistol

Me: How does this thing work?

ForTnite kid: Oh, you don’t know how to use a pistol? Look, I’ll show you.

ForTnitekid: *shoots foot*

Me: That wasn’t a very good demonstration.

Google

Man A: "Is Google male or female?"

Man B: "Female, because it does not let you finish the sentence before making a suggestion."

Psychologist

How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb?

It only takes one, but it takes a long time, and the light bulb has to want to change.

Orphan

What does an orphan wish they could do?

Wish happy Mother's Day and Father's Day.

Divorce

If you get a divorce with your husband, does that still mean you’re siblings?

Rubber

What do bungee jumping and a gay man have in common?

If the rubber breaks, they're in beep shit.

Butthole

What do a 9V battery and a butthole have in common?

We know we’re not supposed to put our tongue on them, but we do it anyway.

Priest

How many altar boys does it take to screw in a light bulb? Depends on how dark the priests' basement is.

Michael Jackson

Michael Jackson

Why does Michael Jackson avoid Pepsi? They gave him a hot one.