DOE jokes
If you drink hand sanitizer, does it only kill 99.9% of you?...........💀
Teacher: What does a chicken give you?
Student: An egg!
Teacher: What does a fat cow give you?
Student: Homework!
How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, because they beat the room for being dark, then arrest the room for being broke.
What do a "transgender" woman's favorite song and his/her last online order have in common?
~they're both a dick in a box.
How does Jesus whistle?
By blowing through the holes in his hands.
Memes
What does a serial killer make for breakfast?
Scrambled legs and toes.
What do the initials BIBLE stand for?
"Bullshit In Book Lacking Evidence."
What does the cannibal eat who comes late for dinner?
The cold shoulder.
Why does Stephen Hawking do one liners?
Because he can't do standup.
What do fire and people have in common?
They will both eventually die out.
How many time does it take to cook a baby in a microwave?
I don’t know, I can’t count while masturbating.
Why does Kurt Cobain hate his brother?
Because he's always calling shotgun.
What does a girl want more than anything in the world?
Nothing. She's fine.
What game does an emo hate the most?
Life!
What does my dad have in common with Nemo?
They both can’t be found.
Q: How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Don't be stupid, feminists can't change anything.
What does one boob say to the other boob?
If we don’t get support, people will think we’re nuts.
Q: Why does Helen Keller masturbate with only one hand?
A: She moans with the other.
How does an artist fill in a CV?
He draws on experience.
What does a condom and a coffin have in common?
They both still have stiffs, but one is coming and one is going.