DOE jokes
How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb?
Well, it's not 8 because my basement is still dark.
What's the difference between a penis and a gun?
A child doesn't cry when a gun goes off in its mouth.
A note for my old English Teacher:
Mr. Colin, who loves making a din, He thinks everyone loves him, but little does he know, That's not what everyone shows, About his life he ploughs and ploughs, About his dog Bella and his relationship woes... Mr. Colin, we do not care, When you speak, our minds are not there, Your life you have unnecessarily shared, When we see you, our eyesight is impaired... Mr. Colin, rumbling about his exceptions, Just when someone puts something in the bin, Or chatters to someone, not even causing a din, But Mr. Colin, drinking too much gin, Will flail all his annoying attention on him, He'll push his limits, right to the rim...
And just how I love flan! Oh, he's finally gone!
Why does Technoblade love orphans?
'Cause he can relate to their parents!
Teacher: What does a chicken give you?
Student: An egg!
Teacher: What does a fat cow give you?
Student: Homework!
Memes
If you drink hand sanitizer, does it only kill 99.9% of you?...........💀
What do a "transgender" woman's favorite song and his/her last online order have in common?
~they're both a dick in a box.
What does the cannibal eat who comes late for dinner?
The cold shoulder.
What do the initials BIBLE stand for?
"Bullshit In Book Lacking Evidence."
How does Jesus whistle?
By blowing through the holes in his hands.
What do fire and people have in common?
They will both eventually die out.
How many time does it take to cook a baby in a microwave?
I don’t know, I can’t count while masturbating.
What does a serial killer make for breakfast?
Scrambled legs and toes.
Why does Stephen Hawking do one liners?
Because he can't do standup.
What does a girl want more than anything in the world?
Nothing. She's fine.
How does a blind person know they've wiped their ass enough?
How does an artist fill in a CV?
He draws on experience.
What does a condom and a coffin have in common?
They both still have stiffs, but one is coming and one is going.
Q: How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Don't be stupid, feminists can't change anything.
What does one boob say to the other boob?
If we don’t get support, people will think we’re nuts.