DOE jokes
The average human male walks for five miles, but the gas station is ten miles away. So why does it take fifteen years for my dad to buy cigarettes?
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
One if you throw it hard enough.
What type of bird does not have feathers on itself?
A bald eagle.
What is a doe called with no legs?
•" No legged deer."
What do you call a deer with no ears?
•" No eared deer."
What do you call a deer with no eye?
•" No eye deer."
XDDDDDD
Why does Hitler deserve heaven? Because he killed Hitler.
What does Santa Claus and Bill Cosby have in common?
They both come while you’re asleep.
What does it say on Stephen Hawking's grave?
"Rust in peace."
How many dead prostitutes does it take to change a light bulb? Obviously not 8, because it's still dark in my basement.
What does a Travis Scott concert and the Titanic cabin have in common? The music doesn’t stop when people start dying.
What does General Grievous say after he gets his penis growth pills?
A fine addition to my erection.
Why does the retard not like eating his vegetables? Because he knows not to be a cannibal, he knows somehow.
What does a cat say when it's angry?
- Stop stressing meowt!
What does a baby banana call her mum? Na na, get it? Instead of ma ma.
What does my arm have in common with paper?
They both can be cut.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall red?
It depends how hard you throw them.
What kind of milk does a new age calf drink?
Dairy free.
A guy was doing bad things and died and went to hell.
Demon: Why you sad?
Guy: I’m in hell, can’t you see?
Demon: Well, we have fun here at hell.
Guy: Really? Nice.
Demon: We do sleeping in on Mondays.
Guy: OoOoOo
Demon: Tuesdays we swim in our lava or dive in fire. If you die, you’re already dead ☠️
Guy: Ok, does that mean I’m a ghost?
Demon: No, you're not a ghost.
Demon: Wednesdays we do a dance party and smoke and drink 🍺
Guy: Ooooooo, I can’t wait 😜
Demon: Thursdays we drink all day until we throw up and die, and you're already dead, remember that?
Guy: Ok, but I am dead, and if I die again, I was already dead, right?
Demon: Yup.
Demon: I have a question: Are you gay, and do you like kissing fire girls, and if you die, you are already dead?
Guy: Ummm, I am not gay, and I don’t like kissing fire girls 😱😱😱
Demon: Then you won’t like Friday or Saturday or Sunday, heheh.
Guy: I’m dead for real in the hell 🪦🏴☠️☠️☠️💀
Hell helll helll R.I.P hell is gone for now.
What's the difference between a baby and a pizza?
One does not crow when you put it in an oven.
What movie does an orphan want for Christmas? "Spiderman: Homecoming";)
What does a priest and a clown have in common?
They both make children cry.