DOE jokes
Me: How does this thing work?
ForTnite kid: Oh, you don’t know how to use a pistol? Look, I’ll show you.
ForTnitekid: *shoots foot*
Me: That wasn’t a very good demonstration.
Does an orphanage have daddy issues?
Yes, because he didn't come back from getting the milk.
Why does Saturn have a ring?
Because God liked it, so he put a ring on it.
Why does the basketball never get a date?
Because they dribble.
Man A: "Is Google male or female?"
Man B: "Female, because it does not let you finish the sentence before making a suggestion."
What does Santa say for the toys to go to bed?
"Time to hit the sack!"
Where does a pianist go on vacation?
The Florida Keys.
Why does Santa Claus have such a big sack?
Because he only comes once a year.
If you get a divorce with your husband, does that still mean you’re siblings?
Why does Michael Jackson avoid Pepsi? They gave him a hot one.
What pronouns does Michael Jackson use? Hee/hee.
What does the blind man say when he walks past the fish market?
"Hello, ladies!"
What does a sex offender and Santa have in common?
They will come down your "chimney" tonight.
What do a 9V battery and a butthole have in common?
We know we’re not supposed to put our tongue on them, but we do it anyway.
What does an orphan wish they could do?
Wish happy Mother's Day and Father's Day.
What does LMAO stand for?
Launching Moms At Orphans.
What does the bee say to the fly?
"Buzz off!"
How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb?
It only takes one, but it takes a long time, and the light bulb has to want to change.
What does the Trump administration use instead of emails? Alternative fax.
Why does family love family?
Because everyone has their Friday night nut together.