How does a cow do math?
With a cow-culator!
DOE Jokes
Teacher: *Reads mythological story about a cyclops*
Me: Does he have one eye cause he's from an incestual family in Alabama?
What does a skeleton call their great-grandparents?
A fossil.
When does a computer function best? When it listens to its motherboard.
Why can’t Germans call a taxi? *does taxi calling motion*
If a gay male is married to a well-endowed, physically challenged gay male that has been sleeping in bed for three hours nonstop, and he wants him to wake up so he can fix him his morning breakfast, how does he wake him up?
Wake up sleeping Jesus by giving him a blowjob.
My boyfriend always likes when I wear my fishnet sleeves. He says it looks great on me, but he doesn’t know that my skin is covered with scars... no one does. No one questions why I wear them everyday. I hope it stays like that because I can’t deal with my mom finding out that I still hurt myself.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall red?
It depends on how hard you throw them.
What does a pedophile call an orphanage?
A supermarket.
Why did the orphan stop playing baseball?
Because baseball has a home, and an orphan does not.
Laugh now.
How many Tottenham players does it take to win a trophy? It doesn't matter how hard they try, they still can't win one anyway.
What does a nun say when you ask too many questions?
"Nunya business!"
What does the dumb kid say to the blind kid?
"Long time no see!"
What does a British cannibal's favorite meal?
Fish and chaps.
Why does Johnny Sins cover his pants, but it doesn't work?
Because the long, hard thing can't chirp down.
Tell it to your parents and friends!
Why does Struan smell so awful? Because he is friends with Jerp.
What do Pink Floyd and Princess Diana have in common? The Wall was their last big hit.
What do / and \ have in common?
They have different results.
How does a donkey open a door?
With a don-key.
The name is Doe, Dilbert Doe. You can call me Dil.
