DOE jokes
How many emos does it take to fix a lightbulb?
None, because they just cry in the darkness.
When does Friday come before Thursday?
In the dictionary.
When does a computer function best? When it listens to its motherboard.
"How does dry skin affect you at work?""You don’t have any elbow grease to put into it."
What does the long distance call and a Black person have in common?
They both don’t work.
Does my half eaten second last meal yesterday look tasty?
What does “JETS” stand for?
Jihadis Eradicating The Skyscrapers.
What does the EPA issue when a person stinks up a room with their smelly farts?
Air quality alert code brown!
What do the initials "MAD" stand for?
Mothers Against Democrats.
What do Hitler's gas "shower" and guns have in common? They both kill someone.
Why does America suck at Clash of Clans?
They already lost two towers.
What does a depressed person say when they're happy?
"..."
Yo mama's so fat, her belly button gets home 15 minutes before she does.
When does an Emo wake up in the morning? After the rooster says, "Cutadoodledo!"
When does a pentagon only have 4 sides?
When a plane hits it.
What does a "Smart Russian" and a "Unicorn" have in common?
Answer: Non-existence!
One man said, "The audacity on that deaf kid!"
The other man said, "Bro, does he even have audio?"
What does a cute deaf girl and a fire have in common?
They're both hot, but they're both quiet.
What do parents and dark humor have in common? Not everyone gets them.
Why do orphans go to church?
They have someone to call "father" there.
What does an orphan's family photo called?
A selfie.