DOE jokes
Where does Stephen Hawking go when he breaks his arm? PC World.
How does a skeleton kill a bug?
They SOCKET!
My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children.
If anybody does, please just send me your contact details, and we can drop them off tomorrow.
Why does everyone like couch jokes?
Because they are sofa-nny (so funny)!
Teacher: *Reads mythological story about a cyclops*
Me: Does he have one eye cause he's from an incestual family in Alabama?
Does my half eaten second last meal yesterday look tasty?
Does anybody know the similarities between a Rubik's cube and a penis?
I don't know the whole answer, but I do know that the more you play with it, the harder it gets.
How does a cow do math?
With a cow-culator!
What does the egg do after the pan told him a joke?
He cracked up!
What runs but does not walk? It's water.
Where does Captain Hook buy his hook?
At a second-hand store.
How many degreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees does Billy Corgan have?
1979.
What does a skeleton call their great-grandparents?
A fossil.
How much does a hipster weigh? An Instagram.
Your mom does not need the internet. She's already worldwide.
What does cake and baseball have in common?
They both need a batter.
How many emos does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, because they just sit and cry in the dark.
Does that neverending forehead of yours go all the way to Mars, holy fucking shit?
How many emos does it take to fix a lightbulb?
None, because they just cry in the darkness.
What does the "W" stand for in Africa?
Water. Too bad there's no "W" in Africa.
What is Donald Trump's hairstyle called?
A comb-over.