DOE jokes

Shit

What does E.T. stand for? Because he has little legs.

What does S.H. stand for? He doesn't.

What does S.H. stand for? Shit happens.

Orphan

Why does the military pick orphans as fighter pilots?

Because homing missiles don't work on them.

Scoliosis

Why does Aaron chug beer on a Wednesday?

Because his dad beats him every single day because he has scoliosis.

Cock

What does your dad's cock and Darryl's Savouries have in common?

I want them both in my mouth!

Pirate

What does a pirate say to the president?? Spread your legs so I can get my treasure back.

Number

So, I was in school, and there was a number saying "696969," so I said to my mother, "What does it mean?" She said, "Your fucking dad and I!"

Ice Cream

Q. What kind of school does an ice cream man go to?

A. Sunday school!

Psst! Don't understand? Well, "Sunday" sounds like "Sundae." Get it now? Nope? Sorry. Plus, it's an ice cream homophone joke.

Beet

What does the beet DJ say when he's partying?

"Dance to the beet, y'all!"

Couch

Why does everyone like couch jokes?

Because they are sofa-nny (so funny)!