DOE jokes
Why does Stephen Hawking only do one liners?
He can't do stand-ups.
Q: What does a cat have that no other animal has?
A: Kittens.
My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children.
If anybody does, please just send me your contact details, and we can drop them off tomorrow.
Does anybody know the similarities between a Rubik's cube and a penis?
I don't know the whole answer, but I do know that the more you play with it, the harder it gets.
How does a cow do math?
With a cow-culator!
What does the egg do after the pan told him a joke?
He cracked up!
Where does Captain Hook buy his hook?
At a second-hand store.
How many degreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees does Billy Corgan have?
1979.
What does a skeleton call their great-grandparents?
A fossil.
What runs but does not walk? It's water.
I told a girl she was cute, and she said, "Aw, tysm."
How does she know I have that?
Not a joke, but here's a good workout, I guess:
Sit-ups: 50
Push-ups: 40
Squats: 30
Do 5 sets.
When does Friday come before Thursday?
In the dictionary.
When does a computer function best? When it listens to its motherboard.
"How does dry skin affect you at work?""You donβt have any elbow grease to put into it."
What does a sprinter eat before a race?
Nothing, they fast!
What does cake and baseball have in common?
They both need a batter.
How does a rapper keep their money safe?
In a RAP VAULT.
Why does the president take so long to deliver each sentence?
Heβs just Biden his time.
How does a rapper like their coffee?
With a little bit of FLOW CREAMER.