DOE jokes
What type of bird does not have feathers on itself?
A bald eagle.
What does the Fox say?
Fraka - kaka - kaka - kow.
What feature does an orphan's phone not have?
A home button.
Why does Little Johnny hate hot dogs?
It reminds him of last night.
What does a Rubik's cube and a penis have in common?
The more you play with it, the harder it gets.
What does a baby banana call her mum? Na na, get it? Instead of ma ma.
A note for my old English Teacher:
Mr. Colin, who loves making a din, He thinks everyone loves him, but little does he know, That's not what everyone shows, About his life he ploughs and ploughs, About his dog Bella and his relationship woes... Mr. Colin, we do not care, When you speak, our minds are not there, Your life you have unnecessarily shared, When we see you, our eyesight is impaired... Mr. Colin, rumbling about his exceptions, Just when someone puts something in the bin, Or chatters to someone, not even causing a din, But Mr. Colin, drinking too much gin, Will flail all his annoying attention on him, He'll push his limits, right to the rim...
And just how I love flan! Oh, he's finally gone!
How many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two; one to screw in the lightbulb and one to SUCK MY COCK!
What does Santa Claus and Bill Cosby have in common?
They both come while you’re asleep.
What does an imouto ride?
Onii-san.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them.
I made a website for orphans; it does not have home pages, though.
What does Cinderella wear to the beach?
Glass slippers.
When does a doctor get mad?
When he runs out of patients!
Why does the heart listen to music a lot?
Because it loves feeling the beat.
How does an apple fall from a tree?
I don't know, ask Sir Isaac Newton!
When a deaf girl master baits, does she use the other hand to moan?
One day Little Johnny's class is having an English lesson. The teacher asks them, "Who can use the word intelligent in a sentence?" Little Mary says, "The teacher is very intelligent." The teacher asks them, "Who can use the word fashionable in a sentence?" Little Suzie says, "They are very fashionable." The teacher says, "Johnny, why don't you have a go? Use the word dictate in a sentence." Johnny thinks for a moment and then says, "Last night I heard Daddy asking Mommy 'Darling how does my dictate'"
A guy was doing bad things and died and went to hell.
Demon: Why you sad?
Guy: I’m in hell, can’t you see?
Demon: Well, we have fun here at hell.
Guy: Really? Nice.
Demon: We do sleeping in on Mondays.
Guy: OoOoOo
Demon: Tuesdays we swim in our lava or dive in fire. If you die, you’re already dead ☠️
Guy: Ok, does that mean I’m a ghost?
Demon: No, you're not a ghost.
Demon: Wednesdays we do a dance party and smoke and drink 🍺
Guy: Ooooooo, I can’t wait 😜
Demon: Thursdays we drink all day until we throw up and die, and you're already dead, remember that?
Guy: Ok, but I am dead, and if I die again, I was already dead, right?
Demon: Yup.
Demon: I have a question: Are you gay, and do you like kissing fire girls, and if you die, you are already dead?
Guy: Ummm, I am not gay, and I don’t like kissing fire girls 😱😱😱
Demon: Then you won’t like Friday or Saturday or Sunday, heheh.
Guy: I’m dead for real in the hell 🪦🏴☠️☠️☠️💀
Hell helll helll R.I.P hell is gone for now.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall red?
It depends how hard you throw them.