DOE jokes
When Stephen Hawking falls, who does he call, the ambulance or the technician?
There is a difference between my brother and Stephen Hawking; at least one of them does something.
What does Stephen Hawking press after he's had a hard day?
F5
If you're cleaning a vacuum cleaner, does that make you the vacuum cleaner?
Why does an orphan play soccer?
Because it's the only love they get.
Why does cancer kill you? Because it does. 🌝
What does a skeleton say when he has lots of work?
"I have a ton of work, skele-ton."
Where does Santa send his children to study?
The Elf-phabets.
If your shirt isn't tucked into your pants, does that mean your pants are tucked into your shirt?
Angelina Jolie was married to Brad Pitt...
Does that make her a "Brad Nailer", and him a "Jolie Jumper"?
Where does Kristen Stewart get her virginity from? She gets it from her mama and papa.
Why does Megan sound like a man, but she is a good singer and rapper, but then people talk about her? What's y'all rapper are singer?
What does Army stand for?
Ain't Ready to be a Marine Yet.
What does Marine stand for?
Muscles Are Required, Intelligence Not Expected.
What does Marine stand for?
My Ass Rides In Navy Equipment.
Why does the Marine Corps have the best uniforms?
Because the Navy wants their bitches to look nice.
Girl: "Daddy!"
Father: "Do I love you?"
Girl: "I'm a... a girl!"
Father: "Mhm!"
Woman: "Daddy?"
Father: "Of course?"
Woman: "I'm a girl too!"
Father: "Does God love children?"
Boy: "Yessss..."
What is the difference between a microwave and a basket?
The microwave oven does not explode within the set time.
What role does a leper play in the theater?
Voldemort!
How many Lawrence Welk fans does it take to change a light bulb?
"A one, and ah two."