DOE jokes
Where does a cow take his date?
Answer: To the moooooovies!
Why does a deaf kid always like football? He gets signed.
Why do orphans go to church?
They have someone to call "father" there.
Two nuns in a bathtub.
One nun asks, "Where's the soap?"
The other nun says, "It sure does."
Why does Elmo turn emo? Because he's Elmo emo.
Memes
What do parents and dark humor have in common? Not everyone gets them.
Always breathing down my neck, my vampire girlfriend does not give me any space.
What does a child molester and a Catholic priest have in common? They both prey at church.
What is Donald Trump's hairstyle called?
A comb-over.
How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb?
To get to the other side.
If we can't say "God" in vain, why does He get to?
What does a cloud wear in a storm?
Thunderwear.
White 40 year olds love little white kids, and so does Trump! The biggest hands to touch the kids and his daughter!
A husband and wife get into a fight. The wife says, "Go blow off some steam. I’ll let you fuck a hooker." So he does that, comes back, and says, "I’m off the hook now!"
What do orphans in Batman have in common? They'll never see their parents again.
Why does the emo's mom like taking her son to the store?
Because the cashier can scan his wrist for discounts!
You didn't know that Helen Keller is dead? It's fine; neither does she.
What does Justin Bieber and a rabbit have in common?
They're both adorably cute and everyone loves them except for Justin Bieber.
If a gay person is vegan, how does he have sex? He will keep getting meat stuck in his ass and in his throat.
What does a hear-moo say? "Fat cow!"