Your mom does not need the internet. She's already worldwide.
DOE Jokes
How many emos does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, because they just sit and cry in the dark.
Does that neverending forehead of yours go all the way to Mars, holy fucking shit?
When does Friday come before Thursday?
In the dictionary.
"How does dry skin affect you at work?""You don’t have any elbow grease to put into it."
What does a sprinter eat before a race?
Nothing, they fast!
What does the "W" stand for in Africa?
Water. Too bad there's no "W" in Africa.
What does a "Smart Russian" and a "Unicorn" have in common?
Answer: Non-existence!
Where does Stephen Hawking go when he breaks his arm? PC World.
What does a doctor do to make you better?
Helium.
Why does everyone like couch jokes?
Because they are sofa-nny (so funny)!
Why does Stephen Hawking only do one liners?
He can't do stand-ups.
Q: What does a cat have that no other animal has?
A: Kittens.
How does a skeleton kill a bug?
They SOCKET!
How many babies does it take to paint a wall red?
It depends how hard you throw them.
My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children.
If anybody does, please just send me your contact details, and we can drop them off tomorrow.
Where does Captain Hook buy his hook?
At a second-hand store.
How many degreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees does Billy Corgan have?
1979.
Does anybody know the similarities between a Rubik's cube and a penis?
I don't know the whole answer, but I do know that the more you play with it, the harder it gets.
What does the egg do after the pan told him a joke?
He cracked up!
