DOE jokes
What does Leo have in common with a newspaper?
They both love to yap and babble, and they always get fondled by old people.
Your mom does not need the internet. She's already worldwide.
What does a "Smart Russian" and a "Unicorn" have in common?
Answer: Non-existence!
What does a pumpkin need when it's hurt? A pumpkin patch.
Does that neverending forehead of yours go all the way to Mars, holy fucking shit?
This Mfer soooo greedy he does NOT need that much tail
How does a woman scare their gynecologist?
By becoming a ventriloquist.
What does the long distance call and a Black person have in common?
They both don’t work.
What do the initials "MAD" stand for?
Mothers Against Democrats.
Yo mama's so fat, her belly button gets home 15 minutes before she does.
What do Hitler's gas "shower" and guns have in common? They both kill someone.
What does a depressed person say when they're happy?
"..."
Where does a cow take his date?
Answer: To the moooooovies!
When does an Emo wake up in the morning? After the rooster says, "Cutadoodledo!"
When does a pentagon only have 4 sides?
When a plane hits it.
Why does America suck at Clash of Clans?
They already lost two towers.
What does a cute deaf girl and a fire have in common?
They're both hot, but they're both quiet.
One man said, "The audacity on that deaf kid!"
The other man said, "Bro, does he even have audio?"
Always breathing down my neck, my vampire girlfriend does not give me any space.
What does a cloud wear in a storm?
Thunderwear.
If we can't say "God" in vain, why does He get to?