DOE jokes
When Stephen Hawking entered Heaven and met with the Lord, after a short interview God asked: "Hey Stephen, I need you to explain to me how does all this stuff work?"
How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
More than 9 because my basement is still dark.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how many you throw.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them.
Always breathing down my neck, my vampire girlfriend does not give me any space.
What is Donald Trump's hairstyle called?
A comb-over.
Why can't the orphan play baseball?
Because he does not know where home is.
How does Moses brew his coffee?
He brews it.
How many foster parents does each orphan have?
One half.
What does a child molester and a Catholic priest have in common? They both prey at church.
What does the sign on an out-of-business brothel say?
"Beat it. We’re closed."
One man said, "The audacity on that deaf kid!"
The other man said, "Bro, does he even have audio?"
What does a cute deaf girl and a fire have in common?
They're both hot, but they're both quiet.
What do parents and dark humor have in common? Not everyone gets them.
What kind of dress does a Roblox Floppa house have?
"ADDRESS!"
Why does fireman wear red suspenders?
To hold his pants up.
Why does Elmo turn emo? Because he's Elmo emo.
How much does a hipster weigh? An Instagram.
What do Hitler's gas "shower" and guns have in common? They both kill someone.
Why does America suck at Clash of Clans?
They already lost two towers.