DOE jokes
How does Hellen Keller drive?
With one hand on the wheel and the other on the road.
What does a cannibal do after eating its vegetables?
Sells the wheelchair.
How many cops does it take to fix a lightbulb?
None, they’ll just beat the Black out of the room.
Why does a robot malfunction when they get sad?
Because they have a break down.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
One if you throw it hard enough.
How many degrees does it take to change ice into boiling water?
199, because the difference between -100 and +100 is 199 (excluding the zero, because it's not real and it doesn't exist because it's not real).
Get?
what does an orphanage and a hospital have in common?
people go there to fix their mistakes.
How does a paedophile know if he's good at sex?
It'll forever be a mystery because the victims [are] too young to scream his name.
What does a squirrel eat? Deez Nutz in their mouth.
Son asks dad, "How much does marriage cost?"
Dad: "I don’t know, son. I’m still paying for it."
How much pussy does a priest get? None.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them.
What does milk and a kid with cancer have in common?
An expiration date.
Why does a woodpecker have a beak?
So as to not smash his head against the tree.
Q: What does encyclopedia mean by cut them in triple?
A: Encyclopedia, more like "An Cyclone Media!"
Guys, don’t suck your own dick, it does not feel like your dick is being sucked, it feels like you're sucking a dick.
What does a Foreigner say when he comes to America?
"You're as cold as I.C.E. You're willing to sacrifice brown lives..."
Why does Waldo wear stripes?
He doesn't want to be spotted.
Always breathing down my neck, my vampire girlfriend does not give me any space.
Why does Apple logo depict 1 byte in the 21st century?