DOE jokes
What does a Mexican not like in their drink? Ice.
How many gangsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
35! Do you have a problem with that?
What does an orphan and a wheelchair have in common?
They can both be replaced.
People always often say to someone who are thinking about suicide that's the easy way out. Don't give up! All I say is I'm not giving up, just I'm giving in, and does it really seem like it's the easiest way out? I don't think so, it's probably the hardest if you ask me, or I would have done it already, but someone's got to do it.
How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.
How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?
What makes you think feminists can change anything?
What are a doctor's and a WWE fighter's ideas on child abuse?
Doctor's: Don't do it, it does not help. Mood behavior.
WWE fighters: If it can crawl, it can brawl.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them.
What's so great about dead baby jokes? They never get old.
Why does Mexico not have a good athletics team? Because anyone who can run or jump is already over the wall.
When does a doctor get mad?
When he runs out of patients!
What does a French guy say when he falls off?
Oh no, Eiffel!
What kind of food does a lesbian love? Anything they can eat out.
Where does a black Eskimo live?
In a Nigglu.
What does one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?
"If we don’t get some support people will think we are ball sacks..."
What kind of car does Yoda drive? A Toyoda.
Here are 20 jokes for you:
Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
What did one wall say to the other wall? I'll meet you at the corner!
Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts!
Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together!
Did you hear about the mathematician who's afraid of negative numbers? He'll stop at nothing to avoid them!
How does a bee style its hair? With a honeycomb!
Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired!
What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta!
What's the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? Snowballs!
Why don't eggs tell jokes? Because they might crack up!
Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!
Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts!
What did one plate say to the other plate? Dinner is on me!
Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
Why don't seagulls fly over the bay? Because then they would be bagels!
Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems!
How does a computer get drunk? It takes screenshots!
What do you call a sleeping bull? A bull-dozer!
I hope these jokes brought a smile to your face! Let me know if you'd like to hear more.
What does a piece of gum and a gun have in common?
You pull one out, everyone wants to be your friend.
Why can’t you take an Asian guy golfing? Because you can’t drive. Every time he does, he tries to put a hole-in-one.
What does your first football game and your first time having sex have in common?
You were bloody and battered but at least your dad came.
"Sticks and stones break my bones."
A crowbar does it so much quicker.