DOE jokes
What does an orphan call a family photo?
A selfie.
How many squirrels does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two, but how they got in there's the real mystery!
What's the difference between a baby and a pizza?
One does not crow when you put it in an oven.
Why does an orphan not play baseball?
Because they can’t find home.
How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two, one to light up the room with space lasers so the other can see, and one to screw it in.
Women are so scary. Does anybody know what is wrong with them?
Why does an orphanage have milk?
Because Dad never came back with the milk.
Why does Ezra Miller’s Flash run in a straight line in The Flash movie? Bro ain’t straight.
Where does cotton candy come from? The cotton pickers!
What does B.I.B.L.E stand for?
Bullshit In Book Lacking Evidence.
How many babies does it take to change a lightbulb? Well, obviously not 10; my basement's still dark.
Why does the wind always blow from the "West" in Washington State?
Answer: Because IDAHO SUCKS!
My girlfriend is like Toys R Us.
She does not exist.
Q. How many dead babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A. Gotta be more than 9 'cause my basement is still dark.
What does Christian say when he wants out of jail?
"Bale me out!"
Why does everybody like the sun? Because it's hot.
What does Mickey's wife drive?
A Minnie-Van!
What sound does a nut make when it comes alive?
Christmas!
Do you know where Helen Keller lives?
Neither does she.
How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb?
More than five because my basement is still dark.
Why does a cow love music?
Because it can play a moo-sical instrument.