DOE jokes
How many rapists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Punchline: One, but they prefer soda bottles instead.
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: Because chickens are mindless creatures and do not know any better.
What does NASA say when they don’t want to go in space: Never Access Space Again.
You wanna hear a joke?
Two Emos hanging out under a tree.
How many Emos does it take to commit suicide? Way too fucking many, because they never get it right the first time!
What is the craziest thing an Indian man does for sex?
Marriage.
Memes
What do 9/11 and COVID-19 have in common?
I couldn't give a fuck about either.
My cat is red and brown and her bones are crunchy, so does that mean she is a Kit Kat?
Why does Sally have no friends? Because she is obese.
Why do elephants never get rich?
Because they work for peanuts!
What is a bus driver that does not work? A useless one!
How many dead babies does it take to clean my refrigerator?.....it gotta be more than 4 because the fridge is still dirty.
What weapon does a fat Jedi use?
A heavy saber.
How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
More than 9 because my basement is still dark.
When Stephen Hawking entered Heaven and met with the Lord, after a short interview God asked: "Hey Stephen, I need you to explain to me how does all this stuff work?"
How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how many you throw.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them.
How much does a hipster weigh? An Instagram.
What does a doctor do to make you better?
Helium.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall red?
It depends how hard you throw them.
What does a "Smart Russian" and a "Unicorn" have in common?
Answer: Non-existence!