DOE jokes
Superman and Flash were in the living room pounding back a few beers. Flash says to Superman, "I bet you can fly into Wonder Woman's bedroom and get the best pussy of your life." So he does it. When he goes back to Flash, Superman says, "Man, that was great, but my ass kinda burns."
How many dead babies does it take to clean my refrigerator?.....it gotta be more than 4 because the fridge is still dirty.
How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
More than 9 because my basement is still dark.
What weapon does a fat Jedi use?
A heavy saber.
When Stephen Hawking entered Heaven and met with the Lord, after a short interview God asked: "Hey Stephen, I need you to explain to me how does all this stuff work?"
How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how many you throw.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them.
If a Muslim loses his Faith... Does he throw in the Towel?
What does a pumpkin need when it's hurt? A pumpkin patch.
When does a pentagon only have 4 sides?
When a plane hits it.
What did the fat guy say to the skinny guy?
Fat guy: Does this look fat on me?
Skinny guy: No, I don’t think it’s that.
Fat guy: Thinking.
Always breathing down my neck, my vampire girlfriend does not give me any space.
If we can't say "God" in vain, why does He get to?
What does a cloud wear in a storm?
Thunderwear.
How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb?
To get to the other side.
What do orphans in Batman have in common? They'll never see their parents again.
Q. Which game does necro like the most?
Into the dead part 1.
You didn't know that Helen Keller is dead? It's fine; neither does she.
If a gay person is vegan, how does he have sex? He will keep getting meat stuck in his ass and in his throat.
What does your dad's cock and Darryl's Savouries have in common?
I want them both in my mouth!