DOE jokes

Why does the Queen play poker on the toilet?

Because she always gets a Royal flush!

Student: Why does everyone hate me?

Another student: Because U got the A last night.

How does Moses brew his coffee?

He brews it.

If you are what you eat, does that mean all squirrels are nuts?

How does a train dance?

It bogies!

What does a man with 20 children do now?

Now he eats sausages even with cellophane.

What does this website with its comments and a cult have in common?

We have a case of Witzelsucht.

What does a house wear? Address.

Why does the pancake team in baseball always win? Because they have the best batter.

What does the drummer call his twins? Anna 1, Anna 2.

How does a non-binary ninja kill someone?

They slash them.

If you get out of the shower clean, how does your towel get dirty?

A guy does not know anything. Oh, wait, he has dementia.

Dad joke.

Why does a dad get more than a pair of socks at the golf course?

Because of a hole in one!

Question: Why does my teenage brother wear a cape to bed?

Answer: Because he can't sleep in his race car bed...

What kind of shit does a ghost take every time? A spooky dookie!

Why do shows have a family? Because they are "Pair-rents"!

What does an orphan call a family photo?

A selfie.

Why does Snoop Dogg use an umbrella?

Fo' drizzle.

How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?