DOE jokes
Q: A guy walks into a bar, what does he say?
A: Ow!
What does Santa say to 3 girls in a row?
HO HO HO
Student: Why does everyone hate me?
Another student: Because U got the A last night.
Why does the orphan have water with its cereal?
Their dad never came back with the milk.
An emo girl dyed her hair red.
Where does her hairline start? Her wrist.
Memes
How does a train sneeze?
It goes, "A-choo choo!"
What does an emo kid say when they wanna hang out?
"Wanna hang?"
Why does Adolf hate golf?
He ended up in the bunker.
Why is the older brother's kid brother that has autism always performing fellatio on his older brother?
Because he wants to find out how many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop.
What site does a vegetable go to when he/she is stressed?
cornhub.com
How many Sallys does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, she was electrocuted.
Chris Hemsworth is Australian, and Thor is from space. Does that make him an Australien?
Why does the Please Touch Museum sound like "police touch museum?"
Because they gotta watch out for the pedos.
I was drinking a martini and the waitress screamed, “Does anyone know CPR?!”
I yelled, “I know the entire alphabet!”, and we all laughed and laughed. Well, except one person, he didn't hear the joke.
Why is jelly laughing a lot?
Because his friend goes nuts!
Q: What's the difference between a suicide vest and a feminist?
A: At least one does something when it is triggered.
What does an orphan call a family picture?
A selfie.
What does WTC stand for?
"What Trade Centre?"
Tell the person next to you to spell "me." When they do, say, "You forgot the D." They should respond with, "There is no D in ME." You say, "Not yet." If this does not go as planned, well, then you are fucked for life.
What does Michael Jackson like?
Teabags.