DOE jokes
Why does an orphan only have 363 days in a year? Because they don’t have mothers' and Father’s Day.
Q: Why does Pewdiepie prefer knives over guns?
A: Because knives don't have barrels.
What do Philippe Petit and New York citizens have in common?
They both walk(ed) over the Twin Towers.
What does the chicken say when he didn't understand something?
"What hap-HENd?"
Why does new pavement smell like butt?
In other words you can also call it asphalt.
Ass-phalt.
Memes
Shitpost-master general
Why does a robot malfunction when they get sad?
Because they have a break down.
What does a nosy pepper do? Gets JALAPEÑO BUSINESS!
How many victims does Shaw have?
We don’t know yet. It’s four years and counting.
What does a kite and a criminal have in common?
They both get high.
How does Moses brew his coffee?
He brews it.
How on God's green earth does my boyfriend have a phone?
JK WE NEED TO TALK ILL TYPE THE SECRET CODE (YOU'LL KNOW WHAT IT MEANS.) GREEN PUSSY CAT LIKES BANNANS.
What does an orphan do on school parents' day? Nothing.
She does not wanna fuck you, and she don’t need you clapping them cheeks.
How does Skeletor feel after He-Man beats him up?
Skelesore.
What goes up and down and does not move?
Stairs.
What does a car have when it's very itchy?
A road rash.
Why does Waldo wear stripes?
He doesn't want to be spotted.
Does your cat scratch you?
Yeah, I need [to] give him payback, but now he won't respond.
Why does Snoop Dogg use an umbrella?
Fo' drizzle.
The doe comes out of the woods, shakes herself, and says,
"I can't believe I did that for 2 bucks!"