DOE jokes
How does the cop respond to being called racist?
He said, "How can I be racist? My wife's eyes [are] black."
How many CIA agents does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
They don't need lightbulbs--they glow in the dark.
What does the SpongeBob intro and a pedophile have in common?
"Are you ready kids?"
Q. How does an ISIS terrorist practice safe sex?
A. He marks the camels that kick.
Son asks dad, "How much does marriage cost?"
Dad: "I don’t know, son. I’m still paying for it."
Memes
They say you should love your neighbor. Does that mean I have to love the president?
What does a pregnant slave and a "pay less" sale have in common?
Buy one, get one free.
What song does Kobe Bryant hate?
"Rocky Mountain High."
What do nail polish and panties have in common?
Both come off with alcohol.
If a pregnant lady murders someone, does the child get an assist?
What does a depressed kid who loves geometry use to kill themself?
A hypoteNUSE!
What does a paleontologist and woke people have in common?
They both enjoy digging up the past.
How many emo kids does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, they just like hanging in the dark.
What does the word circumcise mean?
Cut off a boy's or a man's dick, or cut off a girl's or a woman's foreskin.
How does a rapper pay for his groceries?
With a SICK FLOW of cash!
Q: How many men does it take to open up a beer?
A: None. It should be opened by the time she brings it in.
How does a rapper start a race?
With a ready, set, FLOW!
What do Drew Bledsoe and the Twin Towers have in common?
They both got taken out by two jets.
What does Santa Claus and Bill Cosby have in common?
They both come while you’re asleep.
My biology teacher told us "get out nice and sharp colored pencils." Does she mean as sharp as in the blades I use to cut myself?