DOE jokes
What does a depressed kid who loves geometry use to kill themself?
A hypoteNUSE!
How many CIA agents does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
They don't need lightbulbs--they glow in the dark.
What does the SpongeBob intro and a pedophile have in common?
"Are you ready kids?"
How does a skeleton call his friends?
On the tele-bone!
Q. How does an ISIS terrorist practice safe sex?
A. He marks the camels that kick.
Memes
Why does Russia suck at chess? They only have pawns.
Q: How many men does it take to open up a beer?
A: None. It should be opened by the time she brings it in.
Does a midget count as an orphan?
When does a cub become a Boy Scout?
When he eats his first brownie.
My biology teacher told us "get out nice and sharp colored pencils." Does she mean as sharp as in the blades I use to cut myself?
Why can’t you take an Asian guy golfing? Because you can’t drive. Every time he does, he tries to put a hole-in-one.
What does a pregnant slave and a "pay less" sale have in common?
Buy one, get one free.
How long does it take a black woman to take out the trash?
About nine months and a day.
What does Can do after eating its vegetables?
Go on eBay to see how much he can sell the wheelchair for.
How does the cop respond to being called racist?
He said, "How can I be racist? My wife's eyes [are] black."
How many children does Explain Bear have?
How many belly rolls does Explain Bear have?
How many emo kids does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, they just like hanging in the dark.
How does a rapper start a race?
With a ready, set, FLOW!
How does a rapper pay for his groceries?
With a SICK FLOW of cash!