DOE jokes

How many children does Explain Bear have?

How many belly rolls does Explain Bear have?

My biology teacher told us "get out nice and sharp colored pencils." Does she mean as sharp as in the blades I use to cut myself?

What does a physicist call it when a suicidal person is high up? Potential energy.

What do nail polish and panties have in common?

Both come off with alcohol.

If a pregnant lady murders someone, does the child get an assist?

How many emo kids does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, they just like hanging in the dark.

What does Santa Claus and Bill Cosby have in common?

They both come while you’re asleep.

How does Daveon like his coffee? Decaf-eon.

What does a priest and Christmas tree have in common? The balls are just for decoration.

Why can’t you take an Asian guy golfing? Because you can’t drive. Every time he does, he tries to put a hole-in-one.

They say you should love your neighbor. Does that mean I have to love the president?

How long does it take a black woman to take out the trash?

About nine months and a day.

How does the cop respond to being called racist?

He said, "How can I be racist? My wife's eyes [are] black."

Why does a kid never come home after a fight with their parents? Because they never found the key to the house again.

What does the word circumcise mean?

Cut off a boy's or a man's dick, or cut off a girl's or a woman's foreskin.

What does a paleontologist and woke people have in common?

They both enjoy digging up the past.

When does a cub become a Boy Scout?

When he eats his first brownie.

How does a rapper start a race?

With a ready, set, FLOW!

How does a rapper pay for his groceries?

With a SICK FLOW of cash!