DOE jokes
She does not wanna fuck you, and she don’t need you clapping them cheeks.
What does a car have when it's very itchy?
A road rash.
Does your cat scratch you?
Yeah, I need [to] give him payback, but now he won't respond.
Why does Snoop Dogg use an umbrella?
Fo' drizzle.
The doe comes out of the woods, shakes herself, and says,
"I can't believe I did that for 2 bucks!"
Memes
What does Santa say to 3 girls in a row?
HO HO HO
At what point does a joke become a dad joke?
When it disappears and never returns home.
What does a nearsighted gynaecologist and a puppy have in common?
Wet noses.
Son asks dad, "How much does marriage cost?"
Dad: "I don’t know, son. I’m still paying for it."
What does a depressed kid who loves geometry use to kill themself?
A hypoteNUSE!
How many CIA agents does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
They don't need lightbulbs--they glow in the dark.
What does the SpongeBob intro and a pedophile have in common?
"Are you ready kids?"
How does a skeleton call his friends?
On the tele-bone!
Q. How does an ISIS terrorist practice safe sex?
A. He marks the camels that kick.
Why does Russia suck at chess? They only have pawns.
Q: How many men does it take to open up a beer?
A: None. It should be opened by the time she brings it in.
Does a midget count as an orphan?
When does a cub become a Boy Scout?
When he eats his first brownie.
My biology teacher told us "get out nice and sharp colored pencils." Does she mean as sharp as in the blades I use to cut myself?
Why can’t you take an Asian guy golfing? Because you can’t drive. Every time he does, he tries to put a hole-in-one.