DOE jokes
What do Nelson Mandela and Paul Walker have in common?
They both died at 95.
What's the difference between a gay guy and a freezer? The freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.
What do Michelangelo and Kurt Cobain have in common? They both used their brains to paint the walls.
1. What do you call cheese that's not yours? Nacho cheese.
2. Knock, knock. Who's there? Ash. Ash who? Achoo!
3. How does the ocean say hello? He waves.
4. Why can't Elsa have a balloon? Because she will let it go.
5. What do you call your enemy? You don't call it at all.
What kind of milk does a new age calf drink?
Dairy free.
On which side does the chicken have the most feathers?
On the outer side. 😂😂
Memes
What do Monica and Bill Clinton have in common? They both did not inhale. Lol.
What does a Tusken Raider eat after his meal?
Some desert!
How many communists does it take to change a lightbulb? Never enough.
What grade does Sherlock hit on girls from?
Elementary, my dear Watson!
What bathroom does a trumpet go to?
The brass room...
When a deaf girl master baits, does she use the other hand to moan?
Why does Japan not allow little boys to run?
Because the last time a little boy came, Japan lost a state.
Sans, you lazybones, get up and do something.
Sans: I am doing something.
Papyrus: Oh yeah, what?
Sans: Thinking up a skele-ton of jokes.
Papyrus: SANSSSsSsSsSssSsSSsSsSsSSsSSsSsSsS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I will end you.
Sans: What, does someone not have a funny bone? Oh wait, do you have a bone to pick with me? I have 206.
How do you suck a dick?
Stick it down your throat like Nicholas does with Dennis.
What does an emo kid and an apple have in common?
They both are hanging.
What does a robot do after a one night stand?
He nuts 'n bolts!
So I added Paul Walker on Xbox the other day, and it’s annoying cause all he does is sit on the dashboard.
One day Little Johnny’s class is having an English lesson. The teacher asks them, “Who can use the word intelligent in a sentence?” Little Mary says, “The teacher is very intelligent.” The teacher asks them, “Who can use the word fashionable in a sentence?” Little Suzie says, “They are very fashionable.” The teacher says, “Johnny, why don’t you have a go? Use the word dictate in a sentence.” Johnny thinks for a moment and then says, "Last night I heard Daddy asking Mommy, ‘Darling, how does my dick taste?’”
A robot walks into a bar and orders a martini.
The bartender is flabbergasted that a robot can do that.
"New around here?" said the bartender.
"Nah, been here a while," said the robot.
Bartender "You can talk?"
Robot "Yeah, pretty cool, huh."
Bartender "Why do you want a martini?"
Robot "Oh, I'm just in the mood for one, you know?"
The bartender is shocked to see a robot making completely normal small talk.
The robot seems to be just like a normal human.
"Wow, who programmed you?" asked the bartender.
"The top minds in the world," said the robot.
The robot speaks again, "I have a question for you..."
Bartender, "What?"
"Why did you read this entire story? It does not have a punchline. I just wasted your time. Get bamboozled, nerd!"
How tall does the grass grow in Germany?
Zis high!