DOE jokes
What does a baby and a grenade have in common?
They both make a noise when you throw them.
I thought happiness started with an “H.” Why does my happiness start with “U”?
Why does an orphan have to go to church? Because that's the only way he can pray for a father.
Why does an orphan only have a Samsung? Because it doesn't have a home button!
How many gears does a French tank have?
One forward and six reverse.
What does NASA stand for?
Need a star A.S.A.P.!
What do a 14-year-old and the fetus inside her have in common?
They both say, "Ohh sh*t, my mom is going to kill me!"
What part in the body does an adult not need but actually needs to live?
A KIDNey!
Why does Mario eat mushrooms?
Because he's a very fungi!
Friend: If you could get rid of any one person in your life, who would it be?
Me: Me.
Friend: *does nothing*
(x_x)
I forgot that I don't have friends.
How does Moses make his tea?
He Brews!!!
"Ligma" is a disease, so does that mean "ligma balls?"
What does Michael Jackson say when it gets hot?
He-he-eat!
Ever since convicted New York State felon Donald John Trump has taken office, the Canada-US border has been a mess of tariffs, counter-tariffs and boycotts.
And where does it end? I just got served a salad with 500 Islands in the dressing instead of a thousand. The price was the same.
I told my friend that there was a tree. On that tree, there were four black chickens. I asked how many beaks do the chickens have. He said four.
Then I said there was a white cat. How many teeth does it have? He couldn't answer, so I said, "Looks like you know more about black cocks than white pussy."
When a deaf girl master baits, does she use the other hand to moan?
When does the slowest person go as fast as a train?
When he is on the train.
How many heterosexual men does it take to change a lightbulb in heaven?
Both of them.
What bathroom does a trumpet go to?
The brass room...
What grade does Sherlock hit on girls from?
Elementary, my dear Watson!