DOE jokes
How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None. They just hold it in the socket and expect the world to revolve around them.
How can you light up a candle in a ship which does not contain any instrument and you are alone with just a packet of candles?
Answer: Just throw one candle in the sea; the boat will become lighter.
What does the f in orphan stand for? Family.
How many emos does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, they just cry in darkness.
Why is the older brother's kid brother that has autism always performing fellatio on his older brother?
Because he wants to find out how many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop.
Why can’t an orphan use an iPhone?
Because the home button does not work.
When does a computer function best? When it listens to its motherboard.
What does lmao mean? Laughing miles.
How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb?
Must be more than 9, my basement is still dark!
How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends how hard you throw them.
What do you call it when a caveman does a fart?
A blast from the past!
What type of tea does the Social Justice Warrior avoid?
Reality.
If you die a virgin, then where does your v-card go? Does it go with you to the grave, or does your mortician take it from you?
Why does family love family?
Because everyone has their Friday night nut together.
If an athlete gets athlete's foot... What does an astronaut get? Mistletoe!
What does B.I.B.L.E stand for?
Bullshit In Book Lacking Evidence.
So I was sitting on the couch with a woman, and I asked her, "Does this napkin smell like chloroform?"
How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
It's some weird number. You probably never heard of it.
What does a necrophiliac get at a wedding?
Mourning wood.
What kind of shoes does a ninja wear? Sneakers.