DOE jokes
Why does a robot malfunction when they get sad?
Because they have a break down.
How many victims does Shaw have?
We don’t know yet. It’s four years and counting.
What does a nosy pepper do? Gets JALAPEÑO BUSINESS!
What does a kite and a criminal have in common?
They both get high.
What does an orphan do on school parents' day? Nothing.
Memes
She does not wanna fuck you, and she don’t need you clapping them cheeks.
What goes up and down and does not move?
Stairs.
What does a car have when it's very itchy?
A road rash.
What's the difference between a dead person and a walkie-talkie?
A dead person does not walkie or talkie.
What does a priest and Christmas tree have in common? The balls are just for decoration.
How long does it take a black woman to take out the trash?
About nine months and a day.
Why does Russia suck at chess? They only have pawns.
How does a skeleton call his friends?
On the tele-bone!
At what point does a joke become a dad joke?
When it disappears and never returns home.
What does a nearsighted gynaecologist and a puppy have in common?
Wet noses.
When does a cub become a Boy Scout?
When he eats his first brownie.
How does Daveon like his coffee? Decaf-eon.
What does Yoda say when he’s at the strip club?
"Dirty bitch, you are."
Why can’t you take an Asian guy golfing? Because you can’t drive. Every time he does, he tries to put a hole-in-one.
What does Can do after eating its vegetables?
Go on eBay to see how much he can sell the wheelchair for.