DOE jokes
You didn't know that Helen Keller is dead? It's fine; neither does she.
How many babies does it take to paint a barn red? Well, it depends on how hard you throw them.
How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? Are you kidding? Feminists can’t change anything.
How many screws does it take to construct a lesbian's bed?
None, it's all tongue and groove...
Why does the orphan go to church? He needs someone to call father.
How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb?
Must be more than 9 because my basement is still dark.
Why does every emo kid try to be like Tarzan? So they can swing on the vine.
What does gum in my d*ck have in common?
Both get chewed on by little kids.
What does the F in "orphan" stand for?
"Family," but there is no F.
The doe comes out of the woods, shakes herself, and says,
"I can't believe I did that for 2 bucks!"
What part of the Earth does Helen Keller not have?
The sea.
How many dead slaves does it take to change a lightbulb?
Apparently, more than 6, because my basement is still dark.
What does the Titanic sell most?
Icebreakers.
If drinking alcohol makes you an alcoholic, does drinking Fanta make you fantastic?
Two cannibals are eating a clown. One of them turned to the other and said, "Does this taste funny to you?"
How many emos does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, they just cry in darkness.
In chess, why does the queen have more mobility than the king?
Because the chessboard looks like a kitchen floor.
What does a lawyer defending a killer and a password have in common? They're case sensitive.
So my dad tells these jokes and someone posted one on this website so...
How many Polish people does it take to change a light bulb? 101, one to hold the light bulb and 100 to spin the house.
There’s also one about a bowling ball in a bath tub he hasn’t told me that though. I'll research that.
Why does Kermit like Miss Piggy covered in honey? Because he likes sweet and sour pork.