DOE jokes
Why does an orphan hate the internet?
Because he's always on the homepage.
One late night, my wife caught me standing in front of the freezer.
She asked me, "What are you doing?"
I replied, "I'm making a pink yeti."
She asked, "What does that mean?"
I said, "I left our kid in the freezer for a couple hours."
Q. Which game does necro like the most?
Into the dead part 1.
What kind of overalls does Mario wear?
Denim-denim-denim!
Why does Helen Keller use her left hand to play with herself?
So she can moan with her right hand.
What does NASA stand for?
Need a star A.S.A.P.!
What do a 14-year-old and the fetus inside her have in common?
They both say, "Ohh sh*t, my mom is going to kill me!"
What does a pregnant lady and pigs have in common?
They're both fat.
What do you call a guy in a wheelchair that does comedy?
Sit down comedy.
What does a baby and a grenade have in common?
They both make a noise when you throw them.
Why does an orphan only have a Samsung? Because it doesn't have a home button!
I thought happiness started with an “H.” Why does my happiness start with “U”?
You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't pick your friends' noses.
Does it cycle now? 🚲
"Ligma" is a disease, so does that mean "ligma balls?"
Why does an orphan have to go to church? Because that's the only way he can pray for a father.
Why do my kids die?
Stinky Oussy :D
Why do all of Oliver Anthony's songs sound like "shit"?
Answer: Because he sucks!
What does a Jew expecting guests say?
"Oy, vey, are they here yet?"
What does Michael Jackson say when it gets hot?
He-he-eat!
What does an autistic kid and a loaf of bread have in common?
They both have special needs.