DOE jokes
Q: What's the difference between a suicide vest and a feminist?
A: At least one does something when it is triggered.
Why is the older brother's kid brother that has autism always performing fellatio on his older brother?
Because he wants to find out how many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop.
Louis Armstrong and Tork Poettschke go for a walk.
One says to the other, "My wife always says that icke is no worse than the other men."
"How many men does your wife have?"
What does Army stand for?
Ain't Ready to be a Marine Yet.
What does Marine stand for?
Muscles Are Required, Intelligence Not Expected.
What does Marine stand for?
My Ass Rides In Navy Equipment.
What does a computer scientist do when someone tries to fight him?
He waves his arms like a space invader.
Why does the Avon lady walk funny?
Because her lipstick!
Why does a kid never come home after a fight with their parents? Because they never found the key to the house again.
An emo girl dyed her hair red.
Where does her hairline start? Her wrist.
Why does Adolf hate golf?
He ended up in the bunker.
My husband and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children.
If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.
What site does a vegetable go to when he/she is stressed?
cornhub.com
How many Sallys does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, she was electrocuted.
Why does the Please Touch Museum sound like "police touch museum?"
Because they gotta watch out for the pedos.
What meme does an Emo hate the most?
"Happy Happy Joy Joy" Peter Griffin.
What does an orphan call a family picture?
A selfie.
How does the non binary kill white en Amy?
They/them.
Chris Hemsworth is Australian, and Thor is from space. Does that make him an Australien?
Does a midget count as an orphan?