DOE jokes

What does a nosey pepper do?

It gets jalapeño business!

Dad joke.

Why does a dad get more than a pair of socks at the golf course?

Because of a hole in one!

Question: Why does my teenage brother wear a cape to bed?

Answer: Because he can't sleep in his race car bed...

What kind of shit does a ghost take every time? A spooky dookie!

Why do shows have a family? Because they are "Pair-rents"!

Why does an orphan only have 363 days in a year? Because they don’t have mothers' and Father’s Day.

What does a house wear? Address.

Why does the pancake team in baseball always win? Because they have the best batter.

How does a non-binary ninja kill someone?

They slash them.

If you get out of the shower clean, how does your towel get dirty?

A guy does not know anything. Oh, wait, he has dementia.

Why does an orphan eat cereal with water? Because their dad didn't come back with the milk.

What do Philippe Petit and New York citizens have in common?

They both walk(ed) over the Twin Towers.

How on God's green earth does my boyfriend have a phone?

JK WE NEED TO TALK ILL TYPE THE SECRET CODE (YOU'LL KNOW WHAT IT MEANS.) GREEN PUSSY CAT LIKES BANNANS.

What does a man with 20 children do now?

Now he eats sausages even with cellophane.

When does a pentagon have 4 sides?

When a plane is in one of the sides.

What does the plane that hit the Twin Towers and milk have in common?

My dad went to get both and never came back.

Why does Britain suck at chess?

They lost their queen.

What does McDonald's and priests have in common?

They put their meat inside 10 year olds.

Why does a blind man still have eyes?

So he can see that he can't see.