DOE jokes
What does a slave owner use to buy slaves? A Master Card.
Where does a French cat live?
- In Purr-is
OR
- In the Catacombs
OR
- In a chat-eau.
How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
5
4 to turn the table, and 1 to hold the bulb.
What’s got 4 wheels, does a barrel roll, and goes from green to red in seconds?
Kermit in a car crash.
What kind of mountain does everyone like?
Mountain Dew!!! Hahah.
What does a man have 3 of, which a girl only has 2 of?
Legs.
How does a rapper pay for his groceries?
With a SICK FLOW of cash!
Mom: Hey son, what does "idk" and "idc" mean?
Son: I don’t know and I don’t care.
Mom: Excuse me?
Son: Oh, and by the way, Mom, what’s for dinner?
I don’t know and I don’t care.
How many South Africans does it take to change a lightbulb?
A Brazilian.
Nah, I'm Hawaiian but I'm also Japanese. So does that mean I bombed my own harbor?
Teacher: Ok class, good morning. We are going to start off by asking what kind of sound animals make.
Teacher: Ok, what sound does a pig make?
Class: A cow says "moo moo."
Teacher: Good!
Teacher: What does a sheep make?
Class: A sheep says "baa baaa."
Teacher: Good! Now, what does a pig say?
Little Johnny: A pig says, "Put your hands up and get against the wall, you stupid mother fucker!"
Why does Adolf hate golf?
He ended up in the bunker.
Why does the orphan hate family jokes?
Cus it doesn't have one.
What does weed and the Carolina Panthers have in common?
They both get smoked in bowls.
What does Stephen Hawking and a prostitute have in common?
They both charge.
Why does Elmo turn emo? Because he's Elmo emo.
If a midget does meth, does he get high or get medium?
Why does Aaron chug beer on a Wednesday?
Because his dad beats him every single day because he has scoliosis.
Why does my girlfriend have a dick? Oh wait, I'm gay.
What grade does Sherlock hit on girls from?
Elementary, my dear Watson!