DOE jokes
How many babies does it take to paint a house? It depends how hard you throw them.
What does an emo kid say when they wanna hang out?
"Wanna hang?"
If Earth is the 3rd planet from the sun, does that mean that every country is a 3rd world country?
What does a nun say when you ask too many questions?
"Nunya business!"
What does an autistic kid and a porn video have in common? You can shoot both of them, just not in public.
How many Trump supporters does it take to fix a lightbulb?
None, Trump says it is all done and they cheer in the dark.
What does the Trump administration use instead of emails? Alternative fax.
What does an orphan say a lot? "Where is my house?"
A man was raping a woman and thought the year was 1970, and he exclaimed to the judge later that he was her husband.
She got sent to the Asylum for Hysteria.
Wait, what? Was he actually her husband?
He was a Christian, so that actually meant he was AFTER the rape.
Wait, what? The Bible doesn't say that.
Actually yes, it does, and marital rape was legal until 1990.
WAIT WHAT? That's not funny.
I'll tell ya what's funny, that you think the women have nothing to complain about.
What's the difference between a gun and a penis?
The American government does not define you as having the constitutional right to a penis.
How many Tottenham players does it take to win a trophy? It doesn't matter how hard they try, they still can't win one anyway.
How does a train sneeze?
It goes, "A-choo choo!"
How many women does it take to change a light bulb?
None, they can't change anything.
What does a pedophile call an orphanage?
A supermarket.
Why did the orphan stop playing baseball?
Because baseball has a home, and an orphan does not.
Laugh now.
What do the Twin Towers and my Mom have in common? They both went down on my dad.
How does a cannibal start a wedding reception?
He toasts the groom.
What is Michael Jackson's favorite instrument? Little skin flutes.
An emo girl dyed her hair red.
Where does her hairline start? Her wrist.
What does a volcano say when it has a runny nose?
"I have runny volcanoes."