How many feminists does it take to fix a lightbulb?
9: one to screw the lightbulb, one to film it, one to post about it on a women empowerment social media page, one to complain that the man didn’t screw the lightbulb, one to say that women deserve to screw more lightbulbs, one to try to get #womenlightbulbscrewers trending on Twitter, one to bring a man and show him the screwing, one to say that women are better than men at screwing lightbulbs, and one to make a speech about the lightbulb.
What does an emo kid say to his best friend?
"Let's hang out."
What do people use more than you that is yours?
What does a pumpkin need when it's hurt? A pumpkin patch.
What does an orphan's life and a pseudoword have in common?
They both have no meaning.
What does the dumb kid say to the blind kid?
"Long time no see!"
When does a pentagon not have 5 sides?
When it’s intersected by a plane.
Yo mama so fat, her belly enters the room 10 minutes before she does.
One day a teacher says: "What does a pig give us?"
A student says: "Bacon!"
The teacher says: "Good! Now, what does a chicken give us?"
A student says: "Eggs!"
The teacher says: "Good! Now, what does a fat cow give us?"
A student says: "Homework!"
The whole class laughs.
Mom: Hey son, what does "idk" and "idc" mean?
Son: I don’t know and I don’t care.
Mom: Excuse me?
Son: Oh, and by the way, Mom, what’s for dinner?
I don’t know and I don’t care.
What’s the difference between a pornstar covered in slime and The White Stripes?
One has "Icky Thump," and the other does "icky hump."
Why does Johnny Sins cover his pants, but it doesn't work?
Because the long, hard thing can't chirp down.
Tell it to your parents and friends!
What was Michael Jackson's answer to the parents of the little boys who were left with him when asked why does he do it that way? Tell them that it's human nature.
Credit to my boy tippecanoe3 for this joke.
What do you call it when Panera isn’t hungry?
Panera fed.
Credit to RogueRobot for this one:
What does Panera sleep in?
Panera bed.
What kind of book does cheese read at a church?
The Hole-y Bible.
What does Amy Rose like? Blue balls.
What does Sonic wear when he goes to the beach? A speedo.
Why does Sonic wear gloves? Because his hands are cold.
Why does a woman never set boundaries with a Mexican? Cause they will always cross it.
I was in cooking class and my teacher said, "Does anyone know what a chopping board is similar to?"
Me and my friend just glanced at each other and burst out laughing.
Long story short, the teacher understood the joke, and now we are both in daily therapy. 😭💀
