You so ugly when who were born the doctor threw you out the window and the window threw you back.
I broke my arm in two places. You know what the doctor told me? Stay out of those places!
Yo mama so dumb, she went to the eye doctor to get an iPhone
Whats the most optimistic blood type... B+ What deisse causes wrinkled clothes... an iron deficiency
DARK ALERT******** a girl went 2 the doctor the doctor said she had 1yr to live she shot the doctor and the judge gave her 15 yrs. DARK ALERT********
What is a similiarity between priests and doctors?
They both have fetishes for their professions
Paralyzed Man: * gets up * I’m out of here
Blind Man : Did that paralyzed man just get up
Deaf Man : did that Blind Man see that paralyzed man get up
Mute Man: did that deaf man just hear the blind man see the paralyzed man get up
Dead Man: did that mute man just say did that deaf man just hear the blind man see the paralyzed man get up
“Normal” Man: Did that dead man hear the mute man say didt that deaf man hear the blind man see the paralyzed man get up
Doctor: * calls 911*
911 service: 911 what’s your emergency
Doctor: yes uh, a “normal” person just said taht did that dead man just hear a mute man say did that deaf man just hear the blind man see a paralyzed man get up
911 service: * hangs up*
Why did the bee go to the doctors?
Answer: because he had hives
A few years ago I had a brush with cancer...
All of the bristles fell out!
A guy gives labor to a baby girl and a boy twins the doctor said but the lady was like
The lady: ugh why do I need my husband to be in labor and I want a girl not a boy to just a girl!!!!!!!,!
The lady passed out 😵 and then found out she was in a coma the man who was in labor died the two babys got a nanny a evil one the nanny killed the babys on there first birthday
My wife is pregnant but when we get to doctors something happened..........
What happened?
A:the husband is pregnant too with someone else’s baby not the wife’s baby but the wife is pregnant with his baby.
It’s true women do make less money than men But it’s their fault because they choose the lower paying jobs. Men, for example, choose the higher paying jobs like doctor or lawyer. Whereas women choose the lower paying jobs like women doctor and women lawyer.
Doctor: "What's your zodiac sign?"
Patient: "Cancer?"
Doctor: "What a coincidence."
I tell my therapist I’m scared of the 3rd 9th and 15th letter of the alphabet doctor: oh I see me:ahhhh!!!!!
man: hi doc, i have a problem. i take a shit at 6:00am every morning. doc: whats wrong with that. man: i dont wake up until 8:00am
One day, Little Susie got her monthly bleeding for the first time in her life.
Not quite certain what was happening, and somewhat frightened, she decided to tell Little Johnny. Little Susie dropped her panties and showed Little Johnny what was happening.
Little Johnny's eyes opened wide in amazement. "You know," he said, "I'm not a doctor, but it looks like someone just ripped your balls off!"
what do you call a doctor that's a skeleton? doctor bones
A man is talking to his doctor after undergoing a whole range of tests to try and find out what’s wrong with him.
The doctor sits him down and says, “I’m so sorry to have to tell you this. But the results are back, and I’m afraid it’s fatal.”“Oh no!” exclaims the man, “How long do I have?”
“Ten,” says the doctor.
“What, years? Months?!”
“Nine...”
doctor: you need to eat healthy
me: no
doctor: the last patient who didn't change their diet after i suggested it died
me: oh my goodness
doctor: in a plane crash
me: that sounds unrelated
doctor: i'm the one that crashed it. do not disobey me
