Disease jokes
As a son, I am so worried about the phone call message that my mom got from a member of The CDC. It was on speaker, so me and mom both hear. The message told my mom that she needs to personally isolate because two of the new symptoms is having big titties and a great personality.
How do people with hydrocephalus wear standard-size helmets?
What's the difference between a (hypothetical) girl and cancer?
Her dad didn't beat cancer.
Question: Did you know that "diarrhea" is hereditary?
Answer: It "runs" in your jeans!
What's the natural cure to an old man's inability to forgive people?
Alzheimer's.
VAPING IS ALSO BAD
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
Cause he would never look both ways.
What did Stephen Hawking say when he rode a bike?
"Hey look...no hands...or legs!"
When a fat person wants to kill themselves, why are they so worried? The diabetes will get to them sooner or later!
If we send more mosquitoes to Africa, we could save more mosquitoes from dying of AIDS.
I used to hate foot fungus, but now it's growing on me.
Yo mama so fat they faked COVID-19 just to put a mask on her.
When I was a kid, I knew a woman named Betty Pears.
She died a horrible death from Alzheimer's.
I thought a pear was a fruit, not a vegetable!
What's the best way to get chewing gum out of your hair?
Cancer.
Stephen Hawking: one hp (Fortnite)
What's black and eats Kitty?
Serval cancer.
What's the difference between someone with dystonia and someone with misophonia?
One makes the annoying noises, while the other hates the annoying noises.
"Knock Knock"
"Who's there?"
"John."
"John who?"
John broke down into tears as his Mother's Alzheimer's had gotten progressively worse.
Last night I had the strangest dream!
I sailed away to China!
And I caught the coronavirus!
You said you needed to wash your hands!
Didn't want no one else to touch you! What does that mean?!
And you said!!
Ain't nothing gonna break my lungs 😤!
Ain't no way of slowing Covid down!
Oh no I've got to keep on coughing!!!
Yo mama so dumb, when the doctor told her she had coronavirus, she bought a new laptop.
Why didn't Steven Hawkins get into fights?
'Cause he couldn't stand up for himself.