Disease jokes

Dr. Fauci would be surprised to know that R. Kelly didn't catch COVID-19.

But since COVID is 19, it's too old for him.

Coronavirus walks into a bar and tells the bartender, "Gimme a shot of whiskey, will ya?"

The bartender says, "Sorry. We don't serve viruses here."

Corona replies, "Well, you're not a very good host."

While undressing a woman, she told me she has AIDS. I told her she can't catch it twice, but she still kept screaming.

What's the difference between my dad and cancer?

My dad didn't beat cancer.

- Mommy, what will I be when I'm grown up?

- Shut up, Sam, you've got cancer!

Dark humor is like a cancer, it's funnier when a kid gets it.

I wanted to see if she was anorexic, so I threw a Funyun at her to see if she'd use it as a hula hoop or inhale it.

So Steven Hawking walks into a bar...

Oh, wait.

I was going to go hunting but then I realized, schools are closed due to covid.

Lol making jokes about cancer makes me feel better as a person that had cancer, it’s great!

The doctor told me I had aids. I said, "It's your fault, sister."

A woman approached me in the street the other day with one of those charity collection buckets and asked me: Do you know how often people die from AIDS?

I said: Now I'm no expert, but I think it's only once.

What's the best thing about Alzheimer's?

You can hide your own Easter Eggs!

What do you call a movie with kids with cancer? ... Finding Chemo.

I walked into the doctor's surgery and he said to me, "Pick a star sign, any star sign." I said, "Capricorn." He said, "Nah, you got cancer."

For all the people with Covid-19, I just want to say... Stay positive.

At the restaurant, the waitress starts flirting with me. "She must have COVID," my wife said. "Why?" I asked. "'Cause she clearly has no taste." She responded.

My happiest moment in life was getting a positive grade on my H.I.V. test without studying.

"Knock Knock!" "Who's there?" "It's Dave!"

"Dave who?"

Dave bursts into tears, realizing that his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she no longer remembers him.

A good dog name is Syndrome. That way when it tries attacking, you can yell, "Down, Syndrome!"