Disease Jokes

Children who are unvaccinated are less likely to have autism. You know why? -You have to be alive to have autism.

Ever heard of a rape victim with Alzheimer's?

Yeah, neither have they.

What's long and not very hairy? The conga line at the cancer department

Doctor: Do you want the good news or the bad news first? Patient: Good news! Doctor: We are naming a disease after you.

doctors in the middle ages, Plague doctor: "i must have some herbs to block out bad air" docters now: "God, wtf were we doing back then"

My ex is like aids!!!! I can't get rid of him

COVID-19 is like Pasta

Asians invented it, Italians spread it.

What’s someone with aids favorite Taylor Swift song Baby now we got bad blood

dark humor never gets old, just like children with cancer

"I'm sorry," the doctor says, "you have rare and very contagious disease. We must quarantine you and you'll only be fed cheese and bologna."

"Will that cure me?" the patient asks.

"Well, no," the doctor replies, "but it's the only food that will fit under the door."

disease technically means "lack of ease", so if a girl is hard to get, call her a disease that's what elliot rodger did

Why can’t Chinese people play baseball? Because they ate the bat. If you don’t get it a Chinese women ate a bat and she got the coronavirus (I think)

Whats the most optimistic blood type... B+ What deisse causes wrinkled clothes... an iron deficiency

We send millions of mosquito nets to Africa we can save millions of mosquitoes from dying of aids

Is it OK to tell a Covid patient to stay positive?

Why was the leper hockey game canceled? It was because of a face-off in the corner.

Did you hear about the baby with cancer? It never gets old

imagine this senario: a doctor walks in and tells the patient that he has all the illnesses,diseases,etc in the world but cooler like this: "bumbumbum you have depression, diarrhea, and cancer,... etc" and then the last one on the list is that he is deaf, and then the doctor shows the patient the list.