Disease jokes
If just Africa had more mosquito nets, millions of innocent mosquitoes could be saved from a horrible death of AIDS.
One day, I saw a kid beating up a fat kid. But a cop came out of nowhere and threw the bully off him. The cop then asked the bully, "Why are you beating him up?" I responded, saying, "I'm fighting obesity; no children should suffer from diabetes and heart disease." Then, the cop pulled out a gun and fired, afterwards saying, "Well, how did I do?"
What do you say to your partner with diabetes?
Hey, sugar!
How do people with hydrocephalus wear standard-size helmets?
If laughter is contagious, Kris's jokes are immunity.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
Cause he would never look both ways.
What did Stephen Hawking say when he rode a bike?
"Hey look...no hands...or legs!"
What can you catch, but not throw?
Question: Did you know that "diarrhea" is hereditary?
Answer: It "runs" in your jeans!
If you feel a lump in your rice, you fucked up.
If you feel a lump in your skin, you have cancer.
That awkward moment when you thought the guy was a pretty good magician, and only then realize he simply suffers from leprosy.
As a son, I am so worried about the phone call message that my mom got from a member of The CDC. It was on speaker, so me and mom both hear. The message told my mom that she needs to personally isolate because two of the new symptoms is having big titties and a great personality.
I saw that my brother has brain cancer, so I asked him: "Are you big brain?"
What happened to the leper when he accidentally walked into the screen door?
He strained himself.
Knock, knock.
(Who’s there?)
Roger.
(Roger who?)
Roger walks away, silently sobbing, having realized his mother’s Alzheimer’s is getting worse!
What's the natural cure to an old man's inability to forgive people?
Alzheimer's.
What's the difference between someone with dystonia and someone with misophonia?
One makes the annoying noises, while the other hates the annoying noises.
What did the leper say to the hooker? "You can keep the tip."
What's black and eats Kitty?
Serval cancer.
How do you get a hippy pregnant?
Cum on her feet and let the flies do the rest.