Disease jokes
What do you get after a leper has a hot bath? ... Porridge.
Why can’t kids with cancer have anal sex?
Because they have cancer.
Why did the cow cross the road? Because the chicken had corona.
When the doctor asks you what your zodiac sign is,
You respond: "cancer."
Doctor says: "Well, what a coincidence!"
What do you call an epileptic midget that works at Little Caesars?
Little Seizures.
Yo mama is so fat, she gave a memory foam mattress Alzheimer's.
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite shampoo? Head and Shoulders.
You're so bad at games, bro, they gave you AIDS before losing! 😹
What did the leper say to the prostitute?
You can keep the tip.
What do you call a movie with kids with cancer? ... Finding Chemo.
Have you heard about kids with AIDS?
It never gets old.
Your momma's so fat that she should probably be worried about the increased risk of cardiovascular disease.
What's the difference between me and cancer?
My dad did not beat cancer.
When that one night stand says she has AIDS but you laugh, "I choose D!"
She says...wait what?? I have all of the above! XD
Roses are red, violets are blue, by the way, I have the flu!
A guy walks into a bar and tells the bartender, "Give me 2 beers." The bartender gives him two beers and coughs in the guy's beer bottles before giving it to him. The guy says to the bartender, "Hey, what are you doing? I didn't order Bud Lights, I want Corona beer." The bartender replies, "Sir, I gave you a mix of Bud Light and Corona, and it's on the house, everyone is drinking Corona tonight."
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite food? Beef stroganoff.
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite food?
His left shoulder.
We can nip March Madness in the bud, but only if we detect the warning signs of brooding, anti-social February Fever.
Dark humor is like cancer, it's even funnier when children get it.