Disease jokes
Did you hear about the baby with cancer? It never gets old.
How did the tree get sick?
It got tinsel-itis.
Why was the leper hockey game canceled?
It was because of a face-off in the corner.
Covid be like, "I'm going to take your breath away."
You have a problem with jokes about dementia? That's funny, I don't remember asking.
What is the difference between a guy with cancer and the Twin Towers?
Nothing, they both fell.
Your mom is SOO stupid, she was studying for a COVID test.
Why did Muhammad Ali go down? Because he couldn't stand the cancer.
What's a cancer patient's favorite food?
Kentucky Fried Chemotherapy
Quit making those progeria jokes. They get old very quickly.
Dark humor is like the plague; everyone was supposed to get it.
Imagine this scenario: A doctor walks in and tells the patient that he has all the illnesses, diseases, etc. in the world but cooler like this: "Bumbumbum you have depression, diarrhea, and cancer,... etc."
And then the last one on the list is that he is deaf, and then the doctor shows the patient the list.
What did the leper say to the prostitute?
Keep the tip.
What did the deaf, dumb, and blind orphan get for Christmas?
Cancer.
What was Stephen Hawking's mother's name?
Ilean.
Two lepers playing cards... one threw his hand in; the other laughed his head off.
A girl goes to a Church to confess.
Girl: "Forgive me father for I have sinned."
Priest: "What have you done my child?"
Girl: "I called a man a son of a bitch."
Priest: "Why did you call him a son of a bitch?"
Girl: "Because he touched my hand."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he touches her hand)
Girl: "Yes father."
Priest: "That's no reason to call a man a son of a bitch."
Girl: "Then he touched my breast."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he touched her breast)
Girl: "Yes father."
Priest: "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch."
Girl: "Then he took off my clothes, father."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he takes off her clothes)
Girl: "Yes father."
Priest: "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch."
Girl: "Then he stuck his you know what into my you know where."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he stuck his you know what into her you know where)
Girl: "YES FATHER, YES FATHER, YES FATHER!!!"
(after a few minutes)
Priest: "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch."
Girl: "But father, he had AIDS!"
Priest: "THAT SON OF A BITCH!!!"
What do kids with cancer and cancer jokes have in common?
They never get old.
Kid: I have the corona virus!
Nurse: Here is an ice pack.
I’ve got a joke about Alzheimers.
Um.
Oh no. I can’t actually remember it.