Disease jokes
What has a kid with cancer and Peter Pan in common?
They will never grow up.
My aunt's star sign was Cancer, so it's pretty ironic how she died...
She was eaten by a giant crab.
You have a problem with jokes about dementia? That's funny, I don't remember asking.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Rabid cow.
Rabid cow who?
Hold on, I need to get my gun....
What do you call a 3-sum with a girl with AIDS?
Nut in the butt.
One day whilst walking up a hill, Jack saw a prostitute named Jill. Jill was dressed in kinky, leather gear that made Jack really, really horny.
Jack, who hadn't stuck it in for a few weeks, was keen to ask this sexy young maiden how much she would charge. "1 buck for a suck, 2 buck for a fuck," she said as she stroked his ever-hardening one-eyed snake.
"Yeah, I'll have both of them," said Jack, who was about to cum in his trousers. So Jill led Jack to behind the well, and they sucked and fucked for an hour. After that, they both contracted AIDS and died of it, as they did not see a doctor. THE END
How did Stephen Hawking die?
He had a computer virus!
Have you ever walked through Stephen Hawking's house? No?
Well..... neither has he.
Roses are red, violets are blue, by the way, I have the flu!
My wife is not only gone like gonorrhea, she is also gone because of my (and now her) gonorrhea.
I got a great corona virus joke, but you wouldn’t get it.
What's the difference between herpes and my dad?
Herpes stays around.
Why did Stephen Hawking cross the road?
Oh wait, he didn't.
So, I was fucking this bitch, right, and I thought I had AIDS.
So I go and get tested. Turns out I did get AIDS. Now what I'm wondering is where the hell does an eight-year-old get AIDS?! I guess my sister needs new friends...
So anyway, this old guy goes to the doctors. The doctor says, "It's bad news, you've got cancer and Alzheimer's." The old guy replies, "At least I've not got cancer!"
Note to all.
My name is Lariah. Lariah Carla Brown, 14 years old and I am 1 of triplets. I don't understand how rape jokes are funny, and I just want to make that statement clear. I also hate orphan jokes because I WAS one. Notice when I put WAS! I also see jokes about cancer, now I know you can't be kidding. You know that cancer is a disease that many people get and could die from, so you are just wrong about that!
Should I buy COVID-19 or wait until COVID-20 comes out?
Do you remember what Bruce Willis' last movies were?
Neither does he.
A 6-year-old told the class the first time she got AIDS. The teacher listened. She said she scraped her knee. The girl was sent to an asylum. When she got out, she was 20. She had AIDS.
How do you make the world’s greatest Harlem Shake?
Throw a flashbang into a room full of epileptics.