Disease jokes

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Rabid cow.

Rabid cow who?

Hold on, I need to get my gun....

How did Stephen Hawking die? He went in the rain! 😂😂😂

Yo mama so dumb, when the doctor told her she had coronavirus, she bought a new laptop.

What's green and has a thousand nipples?

A garbage bag in the alley behind a breast cancer clinic.

Yo mama is so stupid that she studied for a COVID test.

What do Africans eat for breakfast?

E-bola Cornflakes.

Titanic: And I’m nominating all passengers for the Ice Bucket Challenge!

What's the difference between a (hypothetical) girl and cancer?

Her dad didn't beat cancer.

Ask an orphan this: "What's the difference between cancer and your dad? Cancer comes back!"

What goes up but never past the digits 15?

A Make-A-Wish kid...

What was I saying again?

Stephen Hawking listens to the song "I Am Still Standing" and cries to himself.

Stephen Hawking walking, oops, he does not do that anymore.

What is Stephen Hawking's favorite food?

His left shoulder.

What’s the difference between me and cancer?

My dad didn’t beat cancer.

It's so sad that Stephen Hawking can't stand up for himself.

What’s the worst thing about having a wife with cancer? You can’t pull on her hair.

What disease do you get from shoving a dirty, rusty piece of metal up your ass? Tetanus.

Last night I had the strangest dream!

I sailed away to China!

And I caught the coronavirus!

You said you needed to wash your hands!

Didn't want no one else to touch you! What does that mean?!

And you said!!

Ain't nothing gonna break my lungs 😤!

Ain't no way of slowing Covid down!

Oh no I've got to keep on coughing!!!

What’s the difference between a prostitute and cancer?

A prostitute can beat my dick any day, but a prostitute can’t beat cancer.