Disease jokes
My aunt's star sign was Cancer, so it's pretty ironic how she died...
She was eaten by a giant crab.
Mom, can I be a firefighter when I grow up?
Mom: Oh, you won't grow up, Caillou.
What do you call an emo cancer kid?
Chemo.
What's the most expensive haircut?
Chemotherapy.
Suicide: Turning one's biology into complex organic chemistry.
Memes
Hot shingles in your neighborhood wanting to get nailed.
Have you ever walked in to Stephen Hawking's house?
No, neither has he.
What does a kid with cancer and dark humor have in common? They never get old.
Dark humor jokes are like kids with cancer.
They never get old.
How do you get chewing gum out of a child's hair? Cancer.
What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas?
Cancer.
Cancer
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Dark humor is like cancer, it's funnier when children get it.
Technoblade can defeat every Minecraft player, but he still can’t defeat cancer!
Why are colds such bad robbers?
Because they're so easy to catch.
Why did Steven Hawkins die?
Because he got a virus.
What is the difference between me and cancer?
My mom did beat cancer.
Q: What can turn a fruit into a vegetable?
A: AIDS.
Son: Daddy, why is this red soup so sweet?
Because your mother had diabetes.
A girl goes to a Church to confess.
Girl: "Forgive me father for I have sinned."
Priest: "What have you done my child?"
Girl: "I called a man a son of a bitch."
Priest: "Why did you call him a son of a bitch?"
Girl: "Because he touched my hand."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he touches her hand)
Girl: "Yes father."
Priest: "That's no reason to call a man a son of a bitch."
Girl: "Then he touched my breast."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he touched her breast)
Girl: "Yes father."
Priest: "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch."
Girl: "Then he took off my clothes, father."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he takes off her clothes)
Girl: "Yes father."
Priest: "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch."
Girl: "Then he stuck his you know what into my you know where."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he stuck his you know what into her you know where)
Girl: "YES FATHER, YES FATHER, YES FATHER!!!"
(after a few minutes)
Priest: "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch."
Girl: "But father, he had AIDS!"
Priest: "THAT SON OF A BITCH!!!"