Disaster jokes
What does a woman and a hurricane have in common?
They’re nice and wet at first, but in the end they take everything.
What did the planes say when they were smashing or passing the Twin Towers?
Smash.
(Get it?) 9/11.
What is something you can’t say in a superhero movie?
“Is it a bird, is it a plane, well whatever it is, it’s heading straight for the World Trade Center.”
You know how bad of a person you are when you figure out how long you wait to smash. For me and my girlfriend, it was between the first plane crash and the last tower falling.
My great grandfather died in 9/11.
He was such a good pilot.
Why were the Twin Towers mad?
Because they bought a pepperoni pizza, but they got plane.
Can you imagine the last thing that went through the minds of 9/11 victims?
Well, probably the person in front of them.
I was just chilling in the World Trade Center and got airplane wifi.
The 911 people really didn't scramble fast enough, so they got folded like an omelet.
Where did little Lucy go during the bombing?
Everywhere.
"Hello, this is your captain speaking. We are flying at a level of 89 feet. If you look out of your window on the left, you will see the World Trade Center."
My dad died in 9/11. He was a great pilot.
Victims of 9/11 are the fastest readers. They went through 94 stories in seconds.
Kobe Bryant and 9/11 are two things I don't joke about because when I do, they tend to crash and burn.
What do women, tornadoes, and hurricanes have in common? They all get the house.
A short person should never piss off a fat person taller than them. The fat person just has to lean slightly, and it's 9/11 all over again.
There was a magician on board the Titanic and said that he could make anything disappear.
Once the ship had gone down one of the passengers said to him, "Go on, so what did you do with the ship then?"
I don't like making 9/11 jokes because every joke about 9/11 I make has a tendency to crash and burn.
There was a math teacher on a plane that crashed. What was the last thing that went through their head?
A pentagon!
(9/11 joke)
Who are the fastest readers of all time?
People who jumped out of the Twin Towers. Why? Because they went through 13 stories within 5 seconds.