Disability jokes
I can't stand disability jokes.
What do you call a stripper in a wheelchair?
Hot wheels.
I told a kid in a wheelchair, "Use your nitro boosts!"
What did the kid who has no arms get for Christmas?
He couldn't even open it.
Teacher: Take a seat, class.
Wheelchair person: I've been in the seat.
What do you call a group of ethnically diverse disabled people?
Seasoned vegetables.
I took a special needs child to a shooting range.
Poor bastard had no idea which direction to run in.
What did the person with no hands get for Christmas?
He didn't open it yet.
What do you call a disabled gang member? A crip.
Did you hear about the guy who lost his left arm and leg?
He's all right.
What do slinkies and the handicapped have in common?
They are the most fun when pushed down a flight of stairs.
What do you call a disabled orphan?
A left over vegetables.
How do you surprise a blind man? Put a plunger in the toilet.
What present did the armless kid get for Christmas?
He got gloves. Ohh, sorry, he could never open the present.
Why are handicap signs blue? Because they're all Crips. (sorry)
I like my women like I like my traction control: disabled.
Why doesn’t Helen Keller go to the optometrist?
Because she’s dead.
Why can't Helen Keller drive?
Because she is a girl.
Why doesn’t Helen Keller go to the beach?
Because she can’t hear the sea.
What does a tornado need when it has multiple sclerosis?
A hurri-CANE.