Q: How did Helen Keller get a concussion?
A: She kept stepping on a rake.
Disability Jokes
How do you properly eat a vegetable?
You tip over the wheelchair.
A boy got a soccer ball and a bike for Christmas. Why is he sad?
He doesn’t have legs.
There's a difference between my brother and Stephen Hawking.
At least Stephen Hawking does something.
Stephen Hawking tried comedy.
His first line ruined it. "You know what I can't stand? Let me rephrase that, you know what? I can't stand."
Have you ever stepped in Stephen Hawking's house?
Neither has he. 😂😂
Why did Stephen Hawking and his wife stop playing hide and seek? She kept using a metal detector.
Why is Stephen Hawking in hell?
He couldn't get his wheelchair up the stairway to heaven.
Why did Helen Keller have a yellow leg?
Her dog was blind, too.
What do you call a load of retards in a swimming pool?
Vegetable soup.
What did Stephen Hawking's wife say to him having sex? "You're wheelie good at this!"
Don't use Head and Shoulders, just use Head; otherwise, you'll end up in the retarded situation Stephen Hawking went through.
What do you call a stripper in a wheelchair?
Hot wheels.
How am I an ableist? My ex-girlfriend was in a wheelchair, and we lived in the same old building with a broken elevator. I ended the relationship by moving to the 8th floor.
Why can’t Helen Keller have kids?
Answer: She’s dead.
How do you break up blind people in a fight? Scream, "I put my money on the guy with the knife!"
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?
Special forces.
Why does Stephen Hawking only do one-liners?
Because he can’t do stand up.
How do you know someone has Down syndrome?
They're doing better than you.
"Hi, Mrs. Jackson, can Matt come out and play?"
"Oh, Johnny, you know Matt doesn't have any arms or legs."
"I know, we just wanted to use him as third base."
