Disability jokes
Why are handicap signs blue? Because they're all Crips. (sorry)
Why doesn’t Helen Keller go to the beach?
Because she can’t hear the sea.
Why can't Helen Keller drive?
Because she is a girl.
Why doesn’t Helen Keller go to the optometrist?
Because she’s dead.
What do you call a disabled gang member? A crip.
What did the person with no hands get for Christmas?
He didn't open it yet.
Did you hear about the guy who lost his left arm and leg?
He's all right.
How do you surprise a blind man? Put a plunger in the toilet.
What do you call a disabled orphan?
A left over vegetables.
What do slinkies and the handicapped have in common?
They are the most fun when pushed down a flight of stairs.
I took a special needs child to a shooting range.
Poor bastard had no idea which direction to run in.
Don't let an extra chromosome keep you down!
What does a tornado need when it has multiple sclerosis?
A hurri-CANE.
I like my women like I like my traction control: disabled.
Why was it cold in Stephen Hawking's house?
Because he had a new window open...
Where can you find the freshest vegetables? A school for the disabled!
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite food?
His shoulder.
What do you call a kid with Down syndrome trying to beat Minecraft?
“A sped runner.”
Why do people in wheelchairs get bullied? Because they can never stand up for themselves.
Why can't people in wheelchairs pass high school?
The pacer test.