Disability jokes

What do you call having a 69 with a guy in a wheelchair?

MEALS ON WHEELS :-)

What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?

Special forces.

I had to share a table recently with a disabled man. When I asked him for the salt and pepper, he had to make two trips.

Why did Steven Hawking go to hell, not heaven?

Because there is a stairway to heaven, but there is not one to hell.

Helen Keller walked into a bar, then a chair, then a table.

What do you call Helen Keller in a pitch black, sound proof room?

Redundant.

A man in a wheelchair and his friend were walking down the street.

Man in Wheelchair: *falls out of wheelchair*

Friend: Are you okay?

Man in Wheelchair: I can't feel my legs!

I spat on a blind kid and told him it was raining.

The real reason Stephen Hawking died is because he tried to overclock his wheelchair.

I stole a wheelchair from a disabled kid. What is he going to do, stand up?

What does a person that’s high and Helen Keller have in common?

Both stare off into space.

I hope there is a lift to heaven. I shouldn’t be making jokes though.

What does Helen Keller say when she touches a basketball?

Duhhuuughhhr.

I saw a disabled person in the super market. They were at the vegetable aisle.

There was a blind man in WWE, and the commentator said, "Watch out! Watch... Oh, he can’t see." After he was sued for national offense.

How does a kid with no arms or legs like a video on YouTube when they say smash the like button?

They literally smash the like button "uuuuuugghghhhgBANG!"

I wonder if Stephen Hawking heard the song "Gangster's Paradise." Oh, shit, he can't!

Did you ever walk into Steve Hawking's house?

"No."

He hasn't too.

Stephen Hawking had pins and needles and got told to walk it off.

What’s the hardest thing to eat on a vegetable? The wheelchair.