Disability jokes
This joke does not work in print, you have to speak it to someone.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Helen Keller.
Helen Keller who?
(Don't say anything).
Helen Keller who?
...you will get a laugh...ty.
What do you call someone with one arm and no legs?
Names.
Where was Stephen Hawking during the house fire?
The top of the stairs.
What do you call Helen Keller in a pitch black, sound proof room?
Redundant.
A man in a wheelchair and his friend were walking down the street.
Man in Wheelchair: *falls out of wheelchair*
Friend: Are you okay?
Man in Wheelchair: I can't feel my legs!
Helen Keller.
What do you call having a 69 with a guy in a wheelchair?
MEALS ON WHEELS :-)
What’s the difference between Stephen Hawking and a refrigerator?
The fridge actually runs.
Have you ever walked into Helen Keller’s house?
She has.
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?
Special forces.
I had to share a table recently with a disabled man. When I asked him for the salt and pepper, he had to make two trips.
Why did Steven Hawking go to hell, not heaven?
Because there is a stairway to heaven, but there is not one to hell.
Helen Keller walked into a bar, then a chair, then a table.
The real reason Stephen Hawking died is because he tried to overclock his wheelchair.
I spat on a blind kid and told him it was raining.
I stole a wheelchair from a disabled kid. What is he going to do, stand up?
What does a person that’s high and Helen Keller have in common?
Both stare off into space.
I hope there is a lift to heaven. I shouldn’t be making jokes though.
What does Helen Keller say when she touches a basketball?
Duhhuuughhhr.
I saw a disabled person in the super market. They were at the vegetable aisle.