Disability jokes

I stole a wheelchair from a disabled kid. What is he going to do, stand up?

I spat on a blind kid and told him it was raining.

What does a person that’s high and Helen Keller have in common?

Both stare off into space.

The real reason Stephen Hawking died is because he tried to overclock his wheelchair.

What does Helen Keller say when she touches a basketball?

Duhhuuughhhr.

I hope there is a lift to heaven. I shouldn’t be making jokes though.

There was a blind man in WWE, and the commentator said, "Watch out! Watch... Oh, he can’t see." After he was sued for national offense.

I saw a disabled person in the super market. They were at the vegetable aisle.

I wonder if Stephen Hawking heard the song "Gangster's Paradise." Oh, shit, he can't!

How does a kid with no arms or legs like a video on YouTube when they say smash the like button?

They literally smash the like button "uuuuuugghghhhgBANG!"

Did you ever walk into Steve Hawking's house?

"No."

He hasn't too.

What’s the hardest thing to eat on a vegetable? The wheelchair.

Stephen Hawking had pins and needles and got told to walk it off.

It doesn’t make much sense why autistic kids run down the hall screaming racecar noises.

I mean, they aren’t in wheelchairs, so I don’t know why they do it.

Q. What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas?

A. Cancer.

Why are disabled people screwed?

Because you can't run or hide!

What do you call something that has 50 legs but can't walk? 25 disabled people!

I pushed a disabled kid down a busy road and yelled out, "Mario Kart!"

Why was Stephen Hawking always like this 🫠?

Because he didn’t have emojis on his computer.

What do you call a blind photographer? A waste of money.