Disability jokes
This man got his left arm and left leg cut off, and someone asked him, "How are you?" And he said, "I’m all right now."
This girl told me people call her ugly because she is disabled. I told her to stand up for herself.
My uncle hid my weed, so I hid his wheelchair.
Why did Stephen Hawking go to hell?
Because he couldn’t go up the stairs to heaven.
What color is Stephen Hawking's house?
It's a bungalow.
What do you call a person with no arms?
Armless.
In a cruel twist of irony, Stephen Hawking's favorite song was "I've Got the Power."
They say Jesus walked on water.
That's nothing. Stephen Hawking ran on batteries.
What do you call a nut on a wheelchair?....A busted nut.
Why couldn't Stephen Hawking go to Heaven?
Because there were stairs.
What do you call a race car driver with Down syndrome? Down shift.
How does someone with Down's Syndrome vote?
Through a special ballot.
What did the girl with no hands get for her birthday?...
We don't know; she hasn't opened it yet.
The fact that "Hawkins" rhymes with "walking" and "talking," yet he could never do any of them.
How does Stephen Hawking compete in the hurdles?
He ducks when he gets to them.
How do you punish Helen Keller?
You leave the plunger in the toilet.
A boy got a soccer ball and a bike for Christmas. Why is he sad?
He doesn’t have legs.
What happens when Helen Keller picks her nose?
She slurs her words...
I once told a blind orphan, "Hey, look at the bright side!"
What does Stephen Hawking put his food in? A microwave.