Disability jokes
How do you piss off a disabled person?
You put the cookie on the other shoulder.
What do slinkies and the handicapped have in common?
They are the most fun when pushed down a flight of stairs.
Don't let an extra chromosome keep you down!
Why was it cold in Stephen Hawking's house?
Because he had a new window open...
Where can you find the freshest vegetables? A school for the disabled!
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite food?
His shoulder.
What's a person with Down syndrome's favorite detergent?
Downy.
Why do people in wheelchairs get bullied? Because they can never stand up for themselves.
Why can't people in wheelchairs pass high school?
The pacer test.
I know a girl in a wheelchair. I realize now why she couldn’t do sports because the coaches wanted 100% from her, but she was only able to give 50%.
A limbless man sat on the side of a lake everyday. He had no hands or legs.
One day he was crying when a woman was walking by and saw that he was upset, so she asked if he was okay.
He replied, "No." The woman said, "Well, what's wrong?" The limbless man said, "I've never been hugged by anyone ever." So the woman, out of kindness, hugged the man. "Are you okay now?" she asked. "No," the man replied. So again the woman asked him what was wrong. He answered, "I've never been kissed before." The woman eagerly gave him a peck on the lips and asked, "Are you okay now?" The man shook his head sadly. The woman asked him what was wrong for the third time. The man said, "I've never been fucked."
The woman looked at him, picks him up, throws him in the lake, and says, "Now you are!"
Why did Annie fall from the swing?
Because she had no hands.
Knock, knock.
"Who's there?"
Not Annie.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
He drove too far away from the wall and got unplugged.
Hey guys, Billy has this weird disability where when he has sex with someone, he says their name really loud.
Billy: Hey guys, I just got back from my DADS!!
Wait, what Billy?
What do you call a pool full of handicapped people?
Vegetable soup.
What does Hellen Keller call her dog?
"NAUSHFBUYGWF"
To the man in the wheelchair who stole my camouflage jacket: you can hide, but you can’t run.
What do you call a disabled Asian?
"Sum ting wong."
What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair? A TANK!
Why is falone mentally disabled?
Who knows, and quite frankly, who cares?