Disability jokes
Wanna know why Stephen Hawking died?
He lost his Wi-Fi connection.
What do you say to a feminist with no arms and no legs?
"Nice tits, bitch."
"I spy with my little eye..."
- Noting I am blind -
I pushed the kid in the wheelchair down the hill, but before I did, I set his wheels on fire and called him "hot wheels."
Which is the odd one out? FISH, SNAKE, STEPHEN HAWKING, HORSE.
Horse, of course — the rest can't walk.
My handicapped friend was getting bullied. I said, "Just stand up for yourself!"
Ever since I needed a wheelchair, my husband has been so rude. He’s been pushing me around and talking behind my back.
What college can Stephen Hawking not attend?
"Stand" Ford University. :3
Michael J. Fox's wife doesn't need a vibrator; she has her husband.
Why couldn't the farmer tend to the crops?
Because he's got no arms.
Have you ever walked into Stephen Hawking's house? No, he hasn't either.
Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She was born without arms.
These three men wanted to start a band. One had the idea to call them the Rolling Stones, one wanted to call them the Veggies, the other said, "Let's be the Cripples," as they all rolled away.
Why do tables never need wheelchairs? Because even without the ‘t’ they are still able.
There's a disabled kid in my class, right? Oops, should've brought my Hot Wheels tracks.
Why do Down's kids blend in in geometry?
Their foreheads are angled.
A blind guy and his seeing eye dog walk into a bar.
The blind guy starts swinging the dog around on the leash.
The bartender yells, "Sir, stop! What are you doing!?"
The blind guy says, "I'm just looking around."
So Steven Hawking walks into a bar...
Oh, wait.
Kid: "What's dark humor?"
Mom: "You see that man over there without arms? Tell him to clap."
Kid: "I am blind, Mom."
Mom: "Exactly."
Why did Billy not like the soccer ball he got for Christmas?
He has no legs...