Disability jokes

Base

"Hi, Mrs. Jackson, can Matt come out and play?"

"Oh, Johnny, you know Matt doesn't have any arms or legs."

"I know, we just wanted to use him as third base."

Potato

What do you call a guy that's high in a wheelchair?

A baked potato.

Feminism

What do Communism, Socialism, Feminism, and Fascism all have in common?

They are all disabilities.

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  • Stairway

    How did Stephen Hawking make it up the stairway to heaven?

    Well, he didn’t; they invented an elevator.

    Syndrome

    What number is better; 46 or 47?

    I don't know, ask the kid with Down syndrome.

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  • Kid

    What do you call a kid with Down syndrome who dresses like a merman? Posiedown.

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  • Song

    What is a disabled person's least favorite song?

    "I'm Still Standing."

    Kid

    The kid in the wheelchair was getting bullied, so I encouraged him to stand up for himself. I don't know why he started crying.

    Hellen Keller

    Hellen Keller went to town riding a pony, stuck a feather in her hat, and called it an "Unnghhtpthhh!"