Disability jokes
A limbless man sat on the side of a lake everyday. He had no hands or legs.
One day he was crying when a woman was walking by and saw that he was upset, so she asked if he was okay.
He replied, "No." The woman said, "Well, what's wrong?" The limbless man said, "I've never been hugged by anyone ever." So the woman, out of kindness, hugged the man. "Are you okay now?" she asked. "No," the man replied. So again the woman asked him what was wrong. He answered, "I've never been kissed before." The woman eagerly gave him a peck on the lips and asked, "Are you okay now?" The man shook his head sadly. The woman asked him what was wrong for the third time. The man said, "I've never been fucked."
The woman looked at him, picks him up, throws him in the lake, and says, "Now you are!"
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
He drove too far away from the wall and got unplugged.
Hey guys, Billy has this weird disability where when he has sex with someone, he says their name really loud.
Billy: Hey guys, I just got back from my DADS!!
Wait, what Billy?
What do you call a pool full of handicapped people?
Vegetable soup.
What does Hellen Keller call her dog?
"NAUSHFBUYGWF"
To the man in the wheelchair who stole my camouflage jacket: you can hide, but you can’t run.
What do you call a disabled Asian?
"Sum ting wong."
What’s Steven Hawkins' favorite song?
"Highway to Hell" because it’s a staircase to heaven.
What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair? A TANK!
Why is falone mentally disabled?
Who knows, and quite frankly, who cares?
Q: How did Helen Keller get a concussion?
A: She kept stepping on a rake.
What do you call a man with no hands? Clapless.
A boy got a soccer ball and a bike for Christmas. Why is he sad?
He doesn’t have legs.
Stephen Hawking tried comedy.
His first line ruined it. "You know what I can't stand? Let me rephrase that, you know what? I can't stand."
There's a difference between my brother and Stephen Hawking.
At least Stephen Hawking does something.
Have you ever stepped in Stephen Hawking's house?
Neither has he. 😂😂
How do you properly eat a vegetable?
You tip over the wheelchair.
Why did Stephen Hawking and his wife stop playing hide and seek? She kept using a metal detector.
I know a girl in a wheelchair. I realize now why she couldn’t do sports because the coaches wanted 100% from her, but she was only able to give 50%.
How do they execute paraplegics?
With the electric wheelchair.