Disability jokes
What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair? A TANK!
What do you call a disabled Asian?
"Sum ting wong."
Q: How did Helen Keller get a concussion?
A: She kept stepping on a rake.
What do you call a man with no hands? Clapless.
How do you properly eat a vegetable?
You tip over the wheelchair.
A boy got a soccer ball and a bike for Christmas. Why is he sad?
He doesn’t have legs.
There's a difference between my brother and Stephen Hawking.
At least Stephen Hawking does something.
Have you ever stepped in Stephen Hawking's house?
Neither has he. 😂😂
Stephen Hawking tried comedy.
His first line ruined it. "You know what I can't stand? Let me rephrase that, you know what? I can't stand."
Why did Stephen Hawking and his wife stop playing hide and seek? She kept using a metal detector.
I know a girl in a wheelchair. I realize now why she couldn’t do sports because the coaches wanted 100% from her, but she was only able to give 50%.
What do you call a kid with Down syndrome trying to beat Minecraft?
“A sped runner.”
Why did Helen Keller have a yellow leg?
Her dog was blind, too.
How do they execute paraplegics?
With the electric wheelchair.
What number is better; 46 or 47?
I don't know, ask the kid with Down syndrome.
What do you call a kid with Down syndrome who dresses like a merman? Posiedown.
What did Stephen Hawking's wife say to him having sex? "You're wheelie good at this!"
Don't use Head and Shoulders, just use Head; otherwise, you'll end up in the retarded situation Stephen Hawking went through.
What do you call a room full of disabled people with epilepsy?
A seizure salad.
How am I an ableist? My ex-girlfriend was in a wheelchair, and we lived in the same old building with a broken elevator. I ended the relationship by moving to the 8th floor.