Disability jokes
To the guy in a wheelchair who stole my camouflage coat: you can hide, but you can't run.
What do you call a disabled Chinese person?
Som Ting Wong.
What do u call a Chinese man with one leg?
Tie-wan-sho.
When I have a staring contest, I always win.
Every day, I see blind people who hate me.
Can a guy in a wheelchair be a stand-up comedian?
Yo mama's so ugly, she made a blind kid cry.
Why didn't Trump help someone who can't walk?
He thinks she should stand up for herself.
A girl walks up to her blind friend who she had not seen in a while and says: "Long time no see!"
Stephen Hawking's last words were the Windows closing sound.
I'm in a wheelchair, right, so I've tried everything but one stand up.
It didn't work.
I beat up a blind kid, but he says he's the strongest. He never saw that one!
So last week I gave my blind friend a cheese grater. The next two weeks he told me that was the most violent book he has ever read.
What do you call a guy at your doorstep with no arms and no legs?
Matt!
Why can't blind people have a seafood diet?
They have to see food to eat.
How do you punish a blind kid?
Rearrange the furniture.
What’s the worst part about eating vegetables? Putting them back in the wheelchair.
I was submitting this joke, and I realized Stephen Hawking couldn't.
It had the reCAPTCHA "I'm not a robot."
Stephen Hawking went on a date last night.
She left after 15 minutes, complaining she didn't like his tone.
I'm doing something Stephen Hawking can't do... pressing "I'm not a robot."
How did Stephen Hawking die?
He rolled away and his charger unplugged.