Disability jokes
I'm in a wheelchair, right, so I've tried everything but one stand up.
It didn't work.
I beat up a blind kid, but he says he's the strongest. He never saw that one!
To the guy in a wheelchair who stole my camouflage coat: you can hide, but you can't run.
A hand job from a deaf person counts as oral.
That autistic kid having sex for the first time:
"U The Hips, U The Hips!"
Why was Stephen Hawking never trusted when taking a quiz?
"No computers allowed on the test!"
What do you call an orphan in a wheelchair running into fire?
Hot wheels.
My friend just got hit by a car and is now in a wheelchair. He is getting bullied, but I don’t understand why he just can’t stand up for himself.
I did just see a blind person trying to f*ck a dog.
I can't stand up when I laugh hard; neither can they.
Why does Helen Keller use her left hand to play with herself?
So she can moan with her right hand.
What do you call a person that can't operate a wheelchair?
Stephen Hawking.
Do you know Stephen is dead? He doesn't have a stone. Do you know how to find him? A metal detector.
So last week I gave my blind friend a cheese grater. The next two weeks he told me that was the most violent book he has ever read.
What do you call a guy at your doorstep with no arms and no legs?
Matt!
Why can't blind people have a seafood diet?
They have to see food to eat.
What’s the worst part about eating vegetables? Putting them back in the wheelchair.
How do you punish a blind kid?
Rearrange the furniture.
I was submitting this joke, and I realized Stephen Hawking couldn't.
It had the reCAPTCHA "I'm not a robot."
I'm doing something Stephen Hawking can't do... pressing "I'm not a robot."