Disability jokes
I did just see a blind person trying to f*ck a dog.
Do you know Stephen is dead? He doesn't have a stone. Do you know how to find him? A metal detector.
Could never understand why people would say Stephen Hawking is a dead man walking.
To the guy in a wheelchair who stole my camouflage coat: you can hide, but you can't run.
Why didn't Trump help someone who can't walk?
He thinks she should stand up for herself.
That autistic kid having sex for the first time:
"U The Hips, U The Hips!"
Why was Stephen Hawking never trusted when taking a quiz?
"No computers allowed on the test!"
What do you call an orphan in a wheelchair running into fire?
Hot wheels.
My friend just got hit by a car and is now in a wheelchair. He is getting bullied, but I don’t understand why he just can’t stand up for himself.
What do you call a person that can't operate a wheelchair?
Stephen Hawking.
I can't stand up when I laugh hard; neither can they.
Why does Helen Keller use her left hand to play with herself?
So she can moan with her right hand.
Stephen Hawking's last words were the Windows closing sound.
So I got my brother a jumping castle for his birthday. That bitch cried in his wheelchair.
So last week I gave my blind friend a cheese grater. The next two weeks he told me that was the most violent book he has ever read.
What do you call a guy at your doorstep with no arms and no legs?
Matt!
I'm doing something Stephen Hawking can't do... pressing "I'm not a robot."
What’s the worst part about eating vegetables? Putting them back in the wheelchair.
What do you call a man in a wheelchair with no legs?
Geo dude.
What does an autistic kid and a loaf of bread have in common?
They both have special needs.