Disability jokes
Why can't Stephen Hawking go to heaven?
'Cause he'd walk up the stairs!
How did Stephen Hawking die?
They unplugged the Wi-Fi cord.
Imagine this scenario: a doctor walks in and tells the patient that he has all the illnesses in the world like this: "You have depression, diarrhea, cancer,... etc." and then the last one on the list is that he is deaf.
Santa Claus gives a child a bike. The child was mad. Why? He had no legs.
I bought my son a trampoline. He sat in his wheelchair and cried.
My friend that was in a wheelchair was getting bullied, so I said, "Stand up for yourself."
Why couldn't Stephen Hawking go to Heaven?
Because there were stairs.
What part of a vegetable is the hardest to eat?
The wheelchair.
This disabled kid walked up to me, so I asked what disease he had. He said, "Lima." So I said, "Come again?" And he said, "Lima nuts." And I asked if that was a fruit, and he said, "No, I'm a vegetable."
My phone was at 10%, and my friend said it better not shut down like Stephen Hawking.
I asked this disabled kid what his favorite TV show is. He looked at me blankly and said "My favorite TV show is Vegetales."
Why was Helen Keller's leg yellow?
Her dog was blind, too.
What does an autistic kid and a loaf of bread have in common?
They both have special needs.
Why can't Stephen Hawking win any arguments?
Because he can't stand up for himself.
What do you call an army of autistic people?
Special forces!
What do you call a romance movie for Down syndrome people? Chromeo and Juliet.
Your mum stinks of disabled people.
Wanna know why?
I don't know either, you tell me.
Did you see the blind guy trip on a can?
He didn't either.
What do you call a man in a wheelchair with no legs?
Geo dude.
Why do disabled people not like comedians?
Because they do stand up.