Disability jokes
What part of a vegetable is the hardest to eat?
The wheelchair.
This disabled kid walked up to me, so I asked what disease he had. He said, "Lima." So I said, "Come again?" And he said, "Lima nuts." And I asked if that was a fruit, and he said, "No, I'm a vegetable."
My phone was at 10%, and my friend said it better not shut down like Stephen Hawking.
I asked this disabled kid what his favorite TV show is. He looked at me blankly and said "My favorite TV show is Vegetales."
Why was Helen Keller's leg yellow?
Her dog was blind, too.
I'm in a wheelchair, right, so I've tried everything but one stand up.
It didn't work.
Someone threatened to break into my house, but I am in a wheelchair. I said sure, and I moved everything upstairs and sat on the stairs so he couldn’t steal anything.
A girl walks up to her blind friend who she had not seen in a while and says: "Long time no see!"
My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair and guess who came crawling back!
I beat up a blind kid, but he says he's the strongest. He never saw that one!
Can disabled enable dark mode?
I told this man to rev his vehicle.
Didn't know wheelchairs can't rev.
What do you get if a disabled person falls off a building? Mashed potatoes.
Did you know Helen Keller had a dollhouse in her backyard?
No, and neither did she.
There was a disabled kid at my door. He said, "I'm selling some cookies, want to buy one?" I said, "Well, if you stand up, sure."
When I have a staring contest, I always win.
Every day, I see blind people who hate me.
Can a guy in a wheelchair be a stand-up comedian?
Yo mama's so ugly, she made a blind kid cry.
What do blind people and an orphan have in common? Both can't see their parents.
A hand job from a deaf person counts as oral.