Disability jokes
What is a disabled person's favorite type of comedy? Sit-down comedy!
Did you know Helen Keller had a dollhouse in her backyard?
No, and neither did she.
There was a disabled kid at my door. He said, "I'm selling some cookies, want to buy one?" I said, "Well, if you stand up, sure."
What do blind people and an orphan have in common? Both can't see their parents.
Can disabled enable dark mode?
What do you get if a disabled person falls off a building? Mashed potatoes.
I told this man to rev his vehicle.
Didn't know wheelchairs can't rev.
What do you call a person that can't operate a wheelchair?
Stephen Hawking.
Someone threatened to break into my house, but I am in a wheelchair. I said sure, and I moved everything upstairs and sat on the stairs so he couldn’t steal anything.
My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair and guess who came crawling back!
I can't stand up when I laugh hard; neither can they.
That autistic kid having sex for the first time:
"U The Hips, U The Hips!"
What do you call an orphan in a wheelchair running into fire?
Hot wheels.
My friend just got hit by a car and is now in a wheelchair. He is getting bullied, but I don’t understand why he just can’t stand up for himself.
Could never understand why people would say Stephen Hawking is a dead man walking.
Why does Helen Keller use her left hand to play with herself?
So she can moan with her right hand.
Why was Stephen Hawking never trusted when taking a quiz?
"No computers allowed on the test!"
Do you know Stephen is dead? He doesn't have a stone. Do you know how to find him? A metal detector.
I did just see a blind person trying to f*ck a dog.
A hand job from a deaf person counts as oral.