Disability jokes
What do you call a physically disabled man who is sitting on the toilet inside the handicapped stall inside the men's restroom?
Sex worker.
Why do disabled people not like comedians?
Because they do stand up.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
He rolled away and his charger unplugged.
Stephen Hawking's death was completely accidental.
He pressed "shut down" instead of "sleep".
What do you call a disabled Chinese person?
Som Ting Wong.
What do u call a Chinese man with one leg?
Tie-wan-sho.
Can a guy in a wheelchair be a stand-up comedian?
When I have a staring contest, I always win.
Every day, I see blind people who hate me.
Yo mama's so ugly, she made a blind kid cry.
Why didn't Trump help someone who can't walk?
He thinks she should stand up for herself.
Stephen Hawking's last words were the Windows closing sound.
Someone threatened to break into my house, but I am in a wheelchair. I said sure, and I moved everything upstairs and sat on the stairs so he couldn’t steal anything.
I told this man to rev his vehicle.
Didn't know wheelchairs can't rev.
What do you get if a disabled person falls off a building? Mashed potatoes.
There was a disabled kid at my door. He said, "I'm selling some cookies, want to buy one?" I said, "Well, if you stand up, sure."
What do blind people and an orphan have in common? Both can't see their parents.
Did you know Helen Keller had a dollhouse in her backyard?
No, and neither did she.
Can disabled enable dark mode?
A girl walks up to her blind friend who she had not seen in a while and says: "Long time no see!"
My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair and guess who came crawling back!