Disability jokes
My phone was at 10%, and my friend said it better not shut down like Stephen Hawking.
I asked this disabled kid what his favorite TV show is. He looked at me blankly and said "My favorite TV show is Vegetales."
Why can’t Helen Keller jump out of an airplane?
It scares the shit out of her dog.
What does an autistic kid and a loaf of bread have in common?
They both have special needs.
What do you call a romance movie for Down syndrome people? Chromeo and Juliet.
Why can't Stephen Hawking win any arguments?
Because he can't stand up for himself.
What do you call a man in a wheelchair with no legs?
Geo dude.
Your mum stinks of disabled people.
Wanna know why?
I don't know either, you tell me.
Did you see the blind guy trip on a can?
He didn't either.
When Helen Keller drives a car, people call her Asian.
What do you call a paralyzed kid with a gun?
Special Forces.
What do you call a person in a wheelchair that lives in Africa?
Dry Vegetable.
There was a disabled kid at my door. He said, "I'm selling some cookies, want to buy one?" I said, "Well, if you stand up, sure."
What do blind people and an orphan have in common? Both can't see their parents.
How does a blonde punish her blind son? She takes away his TV privileges.
How does a blonde punish her deaf son? She takes away his telephone privileges.
How does a blonde punish her paraplegic son? She gives him a spanking.
Why can't there be a gay disabled person?
Because a fruit can't be the same as a vegetable.
Why do disabled people not like comedians?
Because they do stand up.
What do Ben 10 and a disabled kid have in common? They both slap their wrist.
What is a disabled person's favorite type of comedy? Sit-down comedy!
I’m in a wheelchair and I can do stand-up comedy, oh wait...