Disability jokes
Someone threatened to break into my house, but I am in a wheelchair. I said sure, and I moved everything upstairs and sat on the stairs so he couldn’t steal anything.
I told this man to rev his vehicle.
Didn't know wheelchairs can't rev.
What do you get if a disabled person falls off a building? Mashed potatoes.
There was a disabled kid at my door. He said, "I'm selling some cookies, want to buy one?" I said, "Well, if you stand up, sure."
What do blind people and an orphan have in common? Both can't see their parents.
Did you know Helen Keller had a dollhouse in her backyard?
No, and neither did she.
Can disabled enable dark mode?
A girl walks up to her blind friend who she had not seen in a while and says: "Long time no see!"
My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair and guess who came crawling back!
I'm in a wheelchair, right, so I've tried everything but one stand up.
It didn't work.
I beat up a blind kid, but he says he's the strongest. He never saw that one!
To the guy in a wheelchair who stole my camouflage coat: you can hide, but you can't run.
A hand job from a deaf person counts as oral.
That autistic kid having sex for the first time:
"U The Hips, U The Hips!"
Why was Stephen Hawking never trusted when taking a quiz?
"No computers allowed on the test!"
What do you call an orphan in a wheelchair running into fire?
Hot wheels.
My friend just got hit by a car and is now in a wheelchair. He is getting bullied, but I don’t understand why he just can’t stand up for himself.
I did just see a blind person trying to f*ck a dog.
I can't stand up when I laugh hard; neither can they.
Why does Helen Keller use her left hand to play with herself?
So she can moan with her right hand.