Disability jokes
What's Helen Keller's favorite color?
Corduroy.
Stephen Hawking got an engine swap with a Nissan 350Z, and they said his wheelchair wasn't street legal :/
What's the worst thing about eating a vegetable?
The wheelchair.
What's the chunkiest part of vegetable soup?
The wheelchair.
Imagine this scenario: a doctor walks in and tells the patient that he has all the illnesses in the world like this: "You have depression, diarrhea, cancer,... etc." and then the last one on the list is that he is deaf.
Have you ever walked into Stephen Hawking's house?
Yeah, neither has he!
Why can’t Stephen Hawking go to heaven?
Because it’s a stairway to heaven, not a ramp.
Why can't Stephen Hawking go to heaven?
'Cause he'd walk up the stairs!
My friend that was in a wheelchair was getting bullied, so I said, "Stand up for yourself."
Santa Claus gives a child a bike. The child was mad. Why? He had no legs.
I bought my son a trampoline. He sat in his wheelchair and cried.
Why couldn't Stephen Hawking go to Heaven?
Because there were stairs.
What part of a vegetable is the hardest to eat?
The wheelchair.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
They unplugged the Wi-Fi cord.
This disabled kid walked up to me, so I asked what disease he had. He said, "Lima." So I said, "Come again?" And he said, "Lima nuts." And I asked if that was a fruit, and he said, "No, I'm a vegetable."
My phone was at 10%, and my friend said it better not shut down like Stephen Hawking.
I asked this disabled kid what his favorite TV show is. He looked at me blankly and said "My favorite TV show is Vegetales."
Why was Helen Keller's leg yellow?
Her dog was blind, too.
What does an autistic kid and a loaf of bread have in common?
They both have special needs.
What do you call a man in a wheelchair with no legs?
Geo dude.