Disability jokes
If you are disabled and a comedian, is it called stand-down or sit-up?
I walk into my driveway. Stephen Hawking is on my roof.
Oh wait, never mind, he just fell.
What do you call a fat spеaky in a wheelchair spеaky chair?
This mute kid was getting made fun of. I told him to speak up for himself.
What did Helen Keller say when she jumped off a bridge? "(sign language)"
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite shampoo?
Head and Shoulders.
Have you ever walked into Stephen Hawking's house?
No? Neither did he.
Your mum stinks of disabled people.
Wanna know why?
I don't know either, you tell me.
A: What did the podiatrist say to the double amputee?
Q: Sorry, but I can't help you.
Which of these is the smartest; also, list them too: Is it autism, Down syndrome, or ADHD?
Which one gets bullied the most, autism, Down syndrome, or ADHD?
Why can't there be a gay disabled person?
Because a fruit can't be the same as a vegetable.
What is a disabled person's favorite type of comedy? Sit-down comedy!
What do you call a physically disabled man who is sitting on the toilet inside the handicapped stall inside the men's restroom?
Sex worker.
I gave Helen Keller an Oculus and AirPods for her 12th birthday, and she hated them and me.
Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.
Knock, knock. "Who's there?" Not Sally.
God took away Stephen Hawking's privileges.
Where does Stephen Hawking go when he breaks his arm? PC World.
Why did Stephen Hawking cross the road?
Oh wait, he didn't.
Stephen could not click the "I'm not a robot" button, so I guess he is fucked.