Disability jokes
Do you know where Helen Keller lives?
Neither does she.
Why do tables never need wheelchairs?
Because even without the ‘t’ they are still able.
What is so good about a dog that cannot see? Nothing is good.
What do you call a girl with one leg? Ilean.
Why was Stephen Hawking a bad influence towards kids? Because he couldn’t stand for anything.
Why didn’t Steven Hawking go to heaven? Because it was a stairway, not a rampway.
How did Stephen Hawking actually die?
He lost Wi-Fi connection.
What does the blind, deaf child get for Christmas?
Cancer.
Why did the disabled kid keep getting bullied?
He couldn’t stand up for himself.
Stephen Hawking and his wife Siri’s favorite place to eat is Meals on Wheels!
Stephen Hawking + Computer = SMART!
Stephen Hawking + Shoulder = HUNGRY!
Q: Why can't Helen Keller drive?
A: Because she's a woman.
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?
Special Forces!! HAHAHA
Your mom is so weak, when she jumped from the Twin Towers, her baby became disabled.
Stephen Hawking didn’t die naturally, his carer just forgot to put him on charge.
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite drug?
Battery acid.
What’s the hardest part about eating a vegetable in a wheelchair?
What time is it when you say I can’t walk anymore? Time to get a wheelchair 🦼.
Me: I want to be a stand-up comedian.
Friend: You have to be able to stand up.
Two people about to have sex realize they have no lube.
In their desperate, horny haste, they looked for the nearest "Downy" and asked it, "Speak into my hand."
Upon their return to the bed, they regretted it immediately because his dick just stayed down...