Disability jokes
"Knock, knock."
"Who's there?"
"Aarghraawa."
Why is Stephen Hawking a bad husband?
Because he doesn't stand up for his wife.
Why couldn't Sally open the fridge?
Because she had no arms.
It's funny how Stephen Hawking sounds like Stephen walking or Stephen talking, but he can't do any of those things.
What is better to have, autism, Down syndrome, or ADHD?
They have a new line of socks for paraplegics. They are so comfortable they can't even feel them.
Why did the one-handed man cross the road?
To get to the second-hand store!
Why did Susie fall off the swing?
She had no arms.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not Susie.
How did Helen Keller lose her virginity?
I told her the plunger was stuck in the toilet, but she didn’t listen...
Did you walk up Stephen Hawking's drive?
Don’t worry, he didn’t either.
Why do Down's kids blend in in geometry?
Their foreheads are angled.
Why was Stephen Hawking a bad influence towards kids? Because he couldn’t stand for anything.
Stephen Hawking died because he accidentally lost his bluetooth connection.
What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and a baby?
Both of their legs don't work.
What is a disabled person's least favorite song?
"I'm Still Standing."
What is a disabled person's favorite type of comedy? Sit-down comedy!
What is the hardest part of a vegetable?
The wheelchair.
Kid: "Hey dad, what's dark humor?"
Dad: "Go walk up to that homeless guy and throw a rock at him."
Kid: "But dad, I don't have any legs or arms."
Dad: "Exactly, son."
Why was it cold in Stephen Hawking's house?
Because he had a new window open...
Stephen Hawking's not dead, he is just in airplane mode.