Disability jokes

How does a blonde punish her blind son? She takes away his TV privileges.

How does a blonde punish her deaf son? She takes away his telephone privileges.

How does a blonde punish her paraplegic son? She gives him a spanking.

Your mum stinks of disabled people.

Wanna know why?

I don't know either, you tell me.

Did you see the blind guy trip on a can?

He didn't either.

What do you call a paralyzed kid with a gun?

Special Forces.

What does an autistic kid and a loaf of bread have in common?

They both have special needs.

Why can't there be a gay disabled person?

Because a fruit can't be the same as a vegetable.

What do you call a man in a wheelchair with no legs?

Geo dude.

What do you call a disabled kid's sweat?

VEGETABLE OIL!

What do you say to an upset Down syndrome person?

I'd ask what's up, but it's definitely not you!

What is a victimless crime in the state of Michigan if you are an able-bodied man who is well-endowed, not white, and not a heterosexual male?

A white male who is heterosexual and physically disabled who is sodomized by an able-bodied and well-endowed gay male who is not white inside the men's locker room at the gym.

Have you ever walked into Stephen Hawking's house? Don't worry, he hasn't neither.

What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire? Hot wheels!

...

Have they tried switching him off and on again?

I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into a campfire and shouted out "Hot Wheels!"

What do you call a disabled Asian?

Sum Ting Wong.

Handicapped jokes are so cruel.

I can't stand them!

I pushed a disabled kid into a fire and roared, "Hot wheels!"

My friend dumped me, so I stole their wheelchair.

Have a guess who came crawling back?

What is Stephen Hawking's favorite place in Fortnite? The reboot van.