Disability jokes
My friend just got hit by a car and is now in a wheelchair. He is getting bullied, but I don’t understand why he just can’t stand up for himself.
Stephen Hawking's death was completely accidental.
He pressed "shut down" instead of "sleep".
How did Stephen Hawking die?
He rolled away and his charger unplugged.
I'm doing something Stephen Hawking can't do... pressing "I'm not a robot."
A girl walks up to her blind friend who she had not seen in a while and says: "Long time no see!"
My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair and guess who came crawling back!
Stephen Hawking's last words were the Windows closing sound.
I'm in a wheelchair, right, so I've tried everything but one stand up.
It didn't work.
Can disabled enable dark mode?
Did you know Helen Keller had a dollhouse in her backyard?
No, and neither did she.
I can't stand up when I laugh hard; neither can they.
Why didn't Trump help someone who can't walk?
He thinks she should stand up for herself.
What do you call a guy at your doorstep with no arms and no legs?
Matt!
So last week I gave my blind friend a cheese grater. The next two weeks he told me that was the most violent book he has ever read.
How do you punish a blind kid?
Rearrange the furniture.
What's Stephen Hawking's other favorite song?
Steve Winwood's "Just Roll with It Baby."
I was submitting this joke, and I realized Stephen Hawking couldn't.
It had the reCAPTCHA "I'm not a robot."
What’s the worst part about eating vegetables? Putting them back in the wheelchair.
Why can't blind people have a seafood diet?
They have to see food to eat.
Stephen Hawking went on a date last night.
She left after 15 minutes, complaining she didn't like his tone.