Disability jokes
What do you call a girl with only one arm and leg?
Eileen.
I wanna see Stephen Hawking on nitrous.
Someone tracked down a cripple and said, "You can hide, but you can't run!"
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite shampoo? Head and Shoulders.
What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and a baby?
Both of their legs don't work.
How did Steven Hawking die?
His wife needed a charger and plugged him out.
Why could the blind man not see?
Answer: Because he is blind.
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite song?
Head, shoulders, screws, and bolts.
How do you keep a mute woman you've raped from telling on you?
By cutting off her fingers.
What do you call a nut on a wheelchair?....A busted nut.
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite shampoo?
Head and Shoulders.
What do you call a Chinese man with one leg? "Tie won shu."
What gang was Stephen Hawking in? The Crips.
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite song?
- They see me rolling.
They don’t have to invest a lot into the Stephen Hawking wax statue, though.
What do you call a kid having a seizure on a dance floor? An improvement.
What’s black and rings the doorbell?
Stevie Wonder answering the iron.
Why haven't they just tried turning Stephen Hawking on and off?
I hope there is a lift to heaven. I shouldn’t be making jokes though.
Helen Keller walked into a bar.
Then a table.
Then a chair.