Disability jokes
Why can't Sally hit herself? Because she has no arms.
Q: Where do you find a quadriplegic?
A: Right where you left 'em.
What do you call a retard in a house fire?
Flame Retardant.
Why does Stephen Hawking do one-liners? Because he can't do stand-up.
I put the sexy in dyslexia.
Bought my son a trampoline for his birthday. The ungrateful fucker just sat in his wheelchair and cried.
What do you call a load of retards in a swimming pool?
Vegetable soup.
What did John Cena say to the blind man? "YOU CAN'T SEE ME!"
Two guys are on the playground. One guy says to the other, "Did you know that Hellen Keller had a playground in her backyard?" The other guy said, "No." The first guy says, "Neither did she."
- Mommy, I want a bicycle!
- Shut up, Sam! You've already got your wheelchair!
So Helen Keller walked into a bar, then a stool, then a table, then a door...
A blind guy and his seeing eye dog walk into a bar.
The blind guy starts swinging the dog around on the leash.
The bartender yells, "Sir, stop! What are you doing!?"
The blind guy says, "I'm just looking around."
Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.
Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.
What first went through Sally's head when the Nazis came? A bullet.
Where did Sally go when the bomb exploded? Everywhere.
What did Sally get for Christmas? A bike.
How do you punish Helen Keller? You stick a toilet plunger in the toilet.
Why can't Helen Keller have kids? It went up too far.
How do Helen Keller's parents punish her?
They tell her to sit in the corner in a circular room.
How do you execute a retard?
The Electric Wheelchair.
Why did Annie fall from the swing?
Because she had no hands.
Knock, knock.
"Who's there?"
Not Annie.
What do you call a washed vegetable?
A disabled kid that needs a towel.
What do you call a group of ethnically diverse disabled people?
Seasoned vegetables.
There is a young man smoking and a woman in a wheelchair. The woman says, "Why is a young man like you smoking?" The man turns around and says, "Why the fuck are you wearing trainers?"