Difference jokes
What's the difference between a dead hooker and an onion?
I don't cry when I'm cutting up a dead hooker.
What's the difference between a baby and a bowling ball?
A bowling ball doesn't cry when you put your fingers in it.
What’s the difference between a Catholic and a rabbit?
One has kids to protect from predators, and the other has kids for predators.
What’s the difference between milk and the air?
At least the air will always be there for me.
If you don’t know the difference between their, there, and they’re, then you're an idiot.
What is the difference between a hipster and a hockey player?
A hockey player showers.
You know what's the difference between my basement and Chick-fil-A?
A lot of things.
What's the difference between 5% of priests and 5% of atheists?
5% of atheists have seen a ghost.
5% of priests have spooked altar boys in the sacristy.
What's the difference between a Catholic priest and the devil?
The devil always has horns... not just around children.
What’s the difference between orphans and cars?
I don’t have 1080 cars in my basement.
What is the difference between Iron Man and Iron Woman?
One is a superhero, and the other is a simple command.
What is the difference between the National Organization For Carpet Munchers and the National Organization For Women?
The National Organization For Women has more experience in being a carpet muncher because they eat more pussy.
What is the difference between men and women?
Men have 2 heads, women have 4 lips because men do all the thinking, and women do all the talking.
What is the difference between a Libertarian and a dumb polack?
Not much difference.
What's the difference between normal sex and anal sex?
One makes your whole day and one makes your hole weak.
What is the difference between an orphan and a watermelon?
One of them is picked.
What's the difference between red wings and old cassette tape players?
One eats tape while the other eats pussy.
What's the difference between friends and family?
One is actually real.
What's the difference between a salad and a baby? People don't usually scream when you shake around a salad.
What’s the difference between a gun and liberals?
Guns only have one trigger.