Difference jokes

What's the difference between my wife and her sisters?

Her sisters ate hotter, and I married the grenade.

What's the difference between pizza deliveries and the Twin Towers?

Pizza deliveries get their orders right.

What is the difference between a frog and a trombone player?

The frog might be on his way to a gig!

What's the difference between intelligence and apathy?

I don't know! I don't care!

Little Johnny was in class, and his teacher asked, "How many of you guys are Trump fans?" Since the entire class wanted to be liked by the teacher, they all raised their hands, well, except Little Johnny. So the teacher asks, "Why are you being different again, Johnny?" So Little Johnny says, "Well, because I'm a Democrat. My mom is a Democrat, and my dad is a Democrat, so I'm a Democrat!" So then the teacher responds with, "Well, what if your mom was a moron, and your dad was an idiot, what would that make you?" Well, Little Johnny says, "A Trump fan!"

What's the difference between orphans and apples? Apples get picked.

What's the difference between a goat and a sex slave?

I don't have a slave in my sex dungeon.

What's the difference between a Porsche and 50 dead babies?

..... I don't have a Porsche in my garage.

What’s the difference between a child and someone who has been kidnapped?

One of them is a domesticated pet.

What's the difference between outlaws and in-laws?

Outlaws are wanted :)

What's the difference between an orphan and Daniel Larusso?

At least Daniel has a mom.

What did Omnicron say to Delta?

"Same race, bud, different evolution."

"SIX FEET AWAY, OMNI! SIX FEET AWAY!"

What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?

The apple gets picked.

What's the difference between you and me?

I have a plan for this new year.

So long, suckers. Keep scrolling.

I got arrested because I cremated a guy. They said the guy had been alive when I burned him. I mean, it's an early cremation—what's the difference?

What's the difference between a bad joke and an actually bad joke?

An actually bad joke is not funny, like this one!

What's the difference between family and cats...

Cats won't abuse you at Christmas.

What’s the difference between me and grass? Grass doesn’t cut itself.

What's the difference between a school shooting pistol and a baked potato? The physical composition, of course, but they both pack the same heat.

What's the difference between Isaac Newton and the baby I just stabbed?

Isaac Newton died a virgin.