Difference jokes
What's the difference between life and death? Life hurts.
What's the difference between an emo kid and an onion?
You cry when you cut an onion.
What is bigger than an elephant but smaller than two elephants?
A different sized elephant.
What’s the difference between a priest and acne? At least acne waits til the boy is 12 to come on his face.
What's the difference between a depressed person and a pizza? Pizza won't cut itself.
What's the difference between onions and children? Nothing, when you cut one everyone around you cries.
What's the difference between my girlfriend and my uncle?
My girlfriend didn't go to jail for loving me.
What's the difference between an apple and an emo kid?
One falls, while the other hangs.
What's the difference between a depressed person and a pizza?
Pizza won't cut itself.
What's the difference between a bird and a kid on the roof?
The bird can fly off the roof.
I made a website for orphans. It doesn’t have a home page.
What’s the difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body? I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.
What is the difference between Iron Man and Iron Woman? One is a superhero and the other is a simple command.
It’s important to establish a good vocabulary. If I had known the difference between the words “antidote” and “anecdote,” one of my best friends would still be alive.
What's the difference between property and women? At least property still retains some value after getting wrecked.
What's the difference between an emo and a prisoner?
The prisoner.
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
Apples get picked.
What’s the difference between jail and my basement?
Some people are let out of jail.
What's the difference between a sex slave and a goat?
I don't have a sex slave in my basement...
What is the difference between a puppy and a fork?
I don’t microwave forks.
What is the difference between a detective company and a man with eyes on his butt?
One has a private eye, and the other has eyed privates.
Q: What’s the difference between orphans and apples?
A: Apples get picked.