Difference jokes
An African man was walking in New York when he saw a sign that said, "Watch out for children."
He started laughing hysterically, then a white man asked him, "Why are you laughing?"
He said, "In Africa, they would never put up a sign like that."
What's the difference between an emo kid and a leaf? Only the leaf reaches the ground.
What's the difference between when I opened the window in a car wash and when Kawhi Leonard did it? At least my dad didn't get shot in the eye.
What’s the difference between a retard and a zombie? Nothing much, they both dribble, moan, are hungry, walk weirdly, and it takes a bullet in the head to put them both down.
What's the difference between an orphan and a vegetable?
The vegetable gets picked.
What's the difference between China and New York City?
In China, the Asians ride ON the trains. In New York City, they usually end up riding UNDER them.
What's the difference between a dead baby in my trash can and a discarded sex toy?
...
I'm still trying to think of an answer.
What's the difference between a hamster and a cigarette?
They're both harmless until you stick them in your mouth and light them on fire.
What's the difference between kinky and perverted? Kinky is when you tickle your girlfriend with a feather, perverted is when you use the whole bird.
What’s the difference between a Catholic priest and a zit?
A zit will wait until you’re twelve before it comes on your face.
What's the difference between life and death? Life hurts.
What's the difference between an emo kid and an onion?
You cry when you cut an onion.
What is bigger than an elephant but smaller than two elephants?
A different sized elephant.
What’s the difference between a priest and acne? At least acne waits til the boy is 12 to come on his face.
What's the difference between a depressed person and a pizza? Pizza won't cut itself.
What's the difference between onions and children? Nothing, when you cut one everyone around you cries.
What's the difference between my girlfriend and my uncle?
My girlfriend didn't go to jail for loving me.
What's the difference between an apple and an emo kid?
One falls, while the other hangs.
What's the difference between a depressed person and a pizza?
Pizza won't cut itself.
What's the difference between a bird and a kid on the roof?
The bird can fly off the roof.