Difference jokes
Once I asked Siri to tell me a joke, and it asked me, "What is the difference between a large pizza and you?" One can feed a family.
What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a pregnant emo girl?
The emo girl still bleeds.
What's the difference between a priest and a rapist?
What's the difference between what Bill Cosby did and what OJ Simpson did? OJ Simpson's victims actually suffered and I actually feel bad for them (the boyfriend at least).
What’s the difference between KFC and a woman on her period?
One’s finger-licking good and the other is just a fast food restaurant.
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a guitar teacher? One likes to stroke his finger across A minor, and the other one plays guitar.
What's the difference between me and a depressed kid? At least I'm out of the grave.
It isn't really rape if you speak different languages. I mean, how is the man supposed to know what she is saying? Those could be tears of joy and screams of pleasure.
What do an Apple company and an orphanage have that are different?
Apples actually get picked... Unlike little Timmy here... He's been here for 16 years.
What's the difference between an orange?
A hippopotamus riding a four-door motorcycle.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
Sister: Wanna know the difference between your singing and your flute playing?
Me: Sure... (Expecting a completely different response than what I get.)
Sister: Nvm, they have no difference.
Me: *Confused*
Sister: They're both horrible.
The only difference between my grandma and the twin towers is that they collapsed faster than my grandma.
What's the difference between a priest and SpongeBob?
SpongeBob asks if you're ready first.
What is the difference between a Walking Dead and you? He doesn't feel pain.
How do you see the difference between a cow and a bull? It’s either one or the udder.
What's the difference between a gay man and a hairline?
The hairline is way straighter.
What's the difference between economy and Vietnamese?
Economy doesn't work.
What’s the difference between Hitler and a bug?
Nothing.
What's the difference between the Twin Towers and a cow?
You can't milk the same cow for 15 years.