Difference jokes
What's the difference between a criminal and an orphan?
One is wanted and one's not.
What's the difference between a pregnant girl and a light bulb?
... You can unscrew a light bulb, but you can't unscrew a pregnant girl.
What kind of birthday cake do you get on September 11th?
Three small ones, so you can have a flight of different cake flavors!
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apples get picked.
What's the difference between Paul Walker and a fly? It's the sound they make when they hit the windshield.
What’s the difference between your boyfriend and a condom?
A. Condoms have evolved. They’re not so thick and insensitive anymore.
What’s the difference between Pikachu and an orphan?
Pikachu, I choose you!
What’s the length difference between your hairline and Saturn? Nothing.
- The emo went to give the tree a high five, but the emo was left hanging.
- How did the gay person die? Homicide.
- Why did the emo get kicked out of the amusement park? He was cutting in line.
- When does a joke turn into a dad joke? When it leaves and never comes back.
- I cried when my dad chopped onions. Onions was such a good dog.
- I have happy memories building sandcastles with my dad, until my mom took his urn away.
- How is the person over there different from cancer? His dad didn't beat cancer.
Why do women rub their eyebrows? They don't got balls to scratch!
Once I asked Siri to tell me a joke, and it asked me, "What is the difference between a large pizza and you?" One can feed a family.
What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a pregnant emo girl?
The emo girl still bleeds.
What's the difference between a priest and a rapist?
What's the difference between what Bill Cosby did and what OJ Simpson did? OJ Simpson's victims actually suffered and I actually feel bad for them (the boyfriend at least).
What’s the difference between KFC and a woman on her period?
One’s finger-licking good and the other is just a fast food restaurant.
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a guitar teacher? One likes to stroke his finger across A minor, and the other one plays guitar.
What's the difference between me and a depressed kid? At least I'm out of the grave.
It isn't really rape if you speak different languages. I mean, how is the man supposed to know what she is saying? Those could be tears of joy and screams of pleasure.
What do an Apple company and an orphanage have that are different?
Apples actually get picked... Unlike little Timmy here... He's been here for 16 years.
What's the difference between an orange?
A hippopotamus riding a four-door motorcycle.