Difference jokes

What is the difference between a retard and a zombie anyway?

They’re always hungry and shuffle around aimlessly, moaning... Oh, and it takes a bullet in the forehead to put them both down.

Uh!!!

What is the difference between a nerd and leafyishere?

One is fun to laugh at, bully, and roast, and the other is just a nerd.

What is the difference between shroud and a shroud imposter?

Shroud uses reddit, and the imposter uses WJE.

Reddit king and q, I really dgaf what you say, you guys are practically obsessed with me cuz ur leaving hate comments on almost all my jokes, so stop. You're obviously gonna look bad if you just insult meh jokes.

If you guys dont like my jokes, you can just dislike and not leave a comment, ok?

What's the difference between a child and a book?

One doesn't scream when you snap its neck.

Jeffery Dahmer has two things: an RV and a pit.

What is different about the two is that one can't move and one has gas.

But what is similar is tha-

Wait, what is Jeffery doing? He has a knife, he is pulling men's pants down, he is...OH SHIT WHAT THE F-!

Sorry 'bout that......

Now, as I was saying,

What is similar about the two is that one has and is a cockpit.

Wait, a cockpit- JEFFERY WHAT THE F-!

What's the difference between dark humor and normal humor?

Normal humor is ten babies and one trash can.

Dark humor is one baby and ten trash cans.

Scroll down for explanation.

Ten babies in one trash can; one baby in ten means that the baby was chopped up.

A sailor drops anchor in a port and heads into the nearest pub. Everyone in the pub is whispering and pointing at him because of his odd shaped body; he has a very muscular body, but a very tiny head on his shoulders.

As he orders his drink, he tells the bartender, "I'll explain. I get this in every port and town I visit. I caught a mermaid and she granted me three wishes if I would release her back into the sea. So I told her I wanted a yacht and, sure enough, she came through for me. Next, I asked for a million bucks and now I am set for life. Last of all, I asked her if I could have sex with her and her response was, 'I don't know how you can make love to me with your type of body.' So I asked her, 'How about a little head?'"

Dad: What's the difference between an ELEPHANT and a POSTBOX?

Son: I don't know.

Dad: I'd better not trust you with my post then.

What's the difference between 5 cocks and a joke? I can't take a joke.

What’s the difference between a girlfriend and a train? The train will touch me.

Hey, the biggest distraction will never be my tattoos in this facility if you understand what I am saying.

But in all seriousness, welcome to the biggest frat party taking place near the ocean. I am most likely going to tell my family this or maybe not, depending what's going down. I am very adaptive through different circumstances.

What's the difference between your dad and the mailman? Nothing.

What's the difference between a cheater and your mom?

They both cheated!

What's the difference between you and your mom?

I slept with your mom.

What's the difference between a pizza and a guy you really hate?

One won't scream when you remove their meat.

What's the difference between you and the internet? People want a connection from the internet.

What's the difference between your dad and cancer?

Cancer came back...

What’s the difference between my lawn and my wrists?

Nothing, I cut both of them.

What's the difference between a mole and a priest?

One will till your 13 to put hairs on your face.

I apologise for this joke lmfaooo, and you have probably heard this banger before, anyways;

What is the difference between a priest and a zit? 👀 The zit waits till you are 13 to come on your face 🤧