Dick jokes
What's hard about walking through a bunch of dead babies?
My dick.
Ur dick.
A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel attached to his dick.
The bartender asks him why.
And the pirate says:
"Argh, It's driving me nuts."
How did the hillbilly mother find out her daughter entered puberty? Her son's dick tasted funny.
How did Burger King get Dairy Queen pregnant?
He forgot to wrap his Whopper.
I am Wayde, I like ranga balls, please cum in my ass.
Me: Hey dad, I'm in debt, my dick got cut off, I have depression, and I am suicidal!
Dad: Hi in debt, my dick got cut off, I have depression, and I am suicidal! I'm dad!
Damn, DIN just went over me and I'm trying to figure out what it is. A camel's dick.
Cock cock, who's there? Nobody.
My girlfriend broke up with me because I have a small dick. Too bad for her, because I give good sex.
What’s the difference between a prostitute and cancer?
A prostitute can beat my dick any day, but a prostitute can’t beat cancer.
What’s twelve inches and white?
Nothing.
*funny joke about dicks*
What do you call a dick playing badminton?
A shuttlecock.
What did the dick say to the asshole?
You need another dick.
How can you tell if your sister is on her period?
Your father's dick tastes funny.
A doctor is telling three women what they are addicted to.
He says to the first one, "You are addicted to money, you named your daughter Penny."
He says to the second one, "You are addicted to food, you named your daughter Candy."
Then the third one whispers to her son, "Come on, Dick, let's go."
What happens if you mix a dick with a potato?
You get a dictator dic-dick-tator-potato!
What do Jim Kelly and Dick Cheney have in common?
They both make terrible hunters.
How would you best describe prostate cancer?
Well, it is somewhere between a dick and an asshole!