Dick jokes
My mom has a policy where if you kill a butterfly, no butter for a week, and if you kill a grub, no grub for a week.
She killed a cockroach today. I have some bad news for her.
What do you call a fish that has a dick?
Moby Dickkkkk!
I fucked the shit outta of my friend's mom with my 8 inch dick (Adrian). PS. Sorry, Adrian!
I hate it when people say to suck it up... I mean, sometimes I don’t want someone’s dick in my face.
When your girl is sucking your dick and chokes on it, not because it’s big but because you haven’t washed it in weeks.
My dick itches.
In Antarctica, there are ice dicks for ladies to hop onto.
Little do they know I've been waiting for this moment.
SHAENAYA WANTS TO SUCK EVERYBOYS DICK BESIDES MINE CAUSE SHE A THIRSTY HOE.
Shaenaya likes goat dick.
There once was a brother and a sister. So, one night, it's storming really bad and the sister goes into the brother's room and asks, "Can I stay with you tonight because I'm scared?" The brother replies with, "Yeah, sure, but just don't tell Mom." So the girl climbs into the bed and looks under the sheets to see the boy's penis and asks, "What's that?" And the boy replies with, "That's my pet snake." And the girl asks, "Can I pet it?" And the boy says, "Sure, just don't tell Mom." And the boy falls asleep and wakes up in a hospital and asks, "What happened?" And the girl said, "I pet the snake but it spit on me so I bit its head off."
What's hard about walking through a bunch of dead babies?
My dick.
Ur dick.
A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel attached to his dick.
The bartender asks him why.
And the pirate says:
"Argh, It's driving me nuts."
How did the hillbilly mother find out her daughter entered puberty? Her son's dick tasted funny.
How did Burger King get Dairy Queen pregnant?
He forgot to wrap his Whopper.
I am Wayde, I like ranga balls, please cum in my ass.
Me: Hey dad, I'm in debt, my dick got cut off, I have depression, and I am suicidal!
Dad: Hi in debt, my dick got cut off, I have depression, and I am suicidal! I'm dad!
Damn, DIN just went over me and I'm trying to figure out what it is. A camel's dick.
Cock cock, who's there? Nobody.
My girlfriend broke up with me because I have a small dick. Too bad for her, because I give good sex.