Son: Hey, Dad, why is my name Dick?
Dad: Oh, because a dick fell on you when you were born.
Son: Ohhhhh, so that's why I'm gay.
Everybody loves "appreciation." So that's what I named my dick.
A friend of mine chews gum, lays back to yawn, then chokes on the gum. Then I said, "God, what, you choking on dick?"
How is a woman like a condom?
Both spend more time in your wallet than on your dick.
Highest level of insult by a girl by seeing a guy's dick:
"I can shit bigger logs than that thing of your's" 🤣
He probably picks hair off his dad’s dick, then probably puts it in his hair.
What's the difference between a dick and a cannon?
Your dick shots longer.
"Dick dick dick, fuck dick nugget shit."
Roses are red, shit is brown, Get that dick out my ass so we can go to town.
What happens when you combine candy and dick? That creepy guy down the street!
Say:
"Eye"
Spell:
"Map"
Say:
"Ness"
Now say it fast!
Once, there was a brother and a sister that shared a YouTube channel. He named it "Penis Dick Marathon."
Why couldn't the chicken cross the road? Why couldn't the pervert cross the road? Because his dick was in the chicken's ass!
My girlfriend said, "GIMME EIGHT INCHES AND MAKE IT HURT!"
So I pumped my dick in her 4 times and hit her in the head with a brick.
how do you shribble a dick
My teacher asked what was the worst time you got paddled by your parents. My one friend said that he got in trouble and got whacked by a stick. I raised my hand and said that my dad whacked me with his dick.
Suck my dick
(Ron Jeremy)
Spell IHOP, now say 'ness' at the end... 😂 ...I ate your penis!
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To try to get away from the man.
Why did the man cross the road?
Because his d**k was stuck in the chicken.
How to give a good hand job?
Bop it. Pull it. Twist it. Harder. Better. Faster. Stronger. You put your left hand in. You put your left hand out. You put your left hand in and shake it all about.
None of you ever touch my penis.
