Desire jokes

If I grew a nanometer taller for every 2/10 woman expecting a 6’3”+ guy, I would be considered attractive.💀

I want a relationship.

*Masturbates*

I don't want a relationship.

Cremation is my only hope for a hot, smoking body.

Love that dress; it would look much better on my floor, though.

Q: The person who makes it doesn't say what it is.

The person who receives it doesn't know what it is.

The person who knows what it is doesn't want it.

What am I?

A: A baby.

Anyone want to eat me up? I'm in that kind of mood right now.

What is the difference between a dog pound and an orphanage?

In a dog pound, people actually want them.

You must be ice cream because I wanna lick you up.

If I like having sex and get with 15 people, are they getting sexified?

Today I was asked what I wanted to be, and I said I wanted to be a pinata because I want to be hanged.

A kid had school today.

He was late every single day. He said in his mind, "I wish I can go to school again." What happened? It's obvious...... He died :)

I just wish I went on a date with Ariana Grande, and then everybody knew I fucked Ariana Grande.

When you’re trying to attract a partner, it’s important to project the qualities you desire. Shit, have I had to suck a lot of cock lately!?

Why did the orphan rob the bank?

Because he/she wanted to be wanted!

What do orphans want to get for Christmas?... A mother.

Can we have sex, because if we don't, I can't like you, big, thick booty!

So let's have sex in bed, you sexy woman, or behind a tree, because shoving my dick in your pussy is a very nice feeling while sucking your ass.

What's the only good part of your crush dying before you have the chance to bang her?

She can't say no!

What does a girl want more than anything in the world?

Nothing. She's fine.

What's the difference between a gun and my will to live? None, they are both absent.

#takemebacksophie